I'm not good at keeping anything alive
by sydney563
Summary: Bo is a CIA specialist in keeping witnesses in the shadows and alive. She's assigned to Lauren after Lauren witnesses something horrible in the street and is being hunted by those who want to silence her. It's not as angsty as you think it might be...trust me. They might do stuff...they probably wont.
1. Chapter 1

**N: I have no idea what will become of this. It was a prompt suggested by a fellow author, and so i'm trying it. I need to write something to stay on task with angel. Apparently i'm at my best when i write 2 stories at once. Anyways, this isn't going to me super angsty or crazy, just lighthearted as such a story can be and dumb. Short, and maybe just one pov, but since my signature is to do dual povs, we shall see.**

 **Anyways. enjoy, and don't be rude, i don't do ruddddeee!**

 **If you're new to me, i have 3 lovely books under the moniker Sydney Gibson on amazon and you should check them out! if you want!**

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October 18th – 9:30 am

The sight of the tiny gold orange body floating on top of the water was not what I wanted to wake up to. I sighed hard, turning on the coffee maker before I addressed the unexpected death in the kitchen. Picking up the tiny green net next to the goldfish bowl, I stared down into the water. "Oh Alfred the ninth, at least you made it four more days longer than Alfred the 8th." I scooped up the lifeless fish and carried him to the bathroom.

I hummed swing low sweet chariot, as I dumped the fish in to the crystal blue water. Offering him a hearty salute before I flushed the toilet. After washing my hands, I walked back into the kitchen, writing on the grocery list to hit the pet store on the way home today. My mother told me I needed to get a pet to keep me company in my large Brooklyn loft, but my large Brooklyn loft landlord, hated dogs, cats, birds and anything that breathed air. So I was stuck with fish or plants, and since I had killed every living plant on my fire escape, fishes won.

Now it looked like my fish to plant death ratio was evening out.

When I was back in the kitchen, I turned on the TV in the living area. The large flat screen filling the silence of the loft with the current headlines. The one breaking news headline I had fallen asleep to, still filled every inch of the screen. The murder of the first lady in an alleyway down in Greenwich village.

"The President arrived this morning to the hospital to make the body identification. President Carlisle is expected to make a statement within in the hour. Our DOJ sources have not issued any notification if this was a random crime, or an act of terrorism. Regardless, CNN will be covering every second of this American tragedy."

Filling a cup up with black liquid caffeine, I yawned and turned the volume down on the TV. I was saddened by the news of Barbara Carlisle's death, but after seeing the same snippets, hearing the same three eyewitness accounts, I was done with it. I wanted the woman to be laid to rest and the world to move on, not continuing to plaster a horrible mugging gone wrong over and over.

I sipped from the cup, reaching for the remote to switch over to cartoons when my phone rang. The particular ringtone making me frown and groan. It was my bosses ringtone. Today was supposed to be the first day of my three week vacation.

I shuffled over to my desk, scooped up the phone and answered it. "You know I'm on vacation. Started yesterday at seven. Anything you need me to do, Viv can do. She is the second best in the office." I flicked my eyes up to the flat screen. Reading the ticker tape at the bottom, telling the world that the NYPD was looking for an eyewitness who might have been at the scene of the crime as it was happening.

"I know Bo. You told me fifty times yesterday." Ed's deep voice was soothing, but did nothing to soothe me. I knew this tone. He was about to end my vacation. "I need you Bo."

I chuckled. "You know how many men have told me that over the years, won't work on me." I set my coffee down, turning away from the news. "Viv is the best, she can handle whatever you think you need me for. I have plans to lose myself in binge watching shows, eating pizza in my underwear and leaving this work phone off for three weeks."

Ed didn't laugh, making my stomach sink even further. "Bo. Have you been watching the news?"

I leaned against the edge of my desk. "Ed, the whole world is watching the news. When the first lady is killed in a dirty alley in the streets of Greenwich Village, the world tunes in. Never mind that its barely a year into the President's first term." Looking down at my slippers, I let out a breath. "Just get it out, Ed. I know this isn't a have fun on your vacation call."

He cleared his throat. "I need you to come in. Cancel your vacation and take on this case that was handed to me at one a.m." He paused. "I need my best shadowmaker to take on the sole eyewitness that was there when the first lady was murdered."

I closed my eyes. "Ed, there were three eyewitnesses, they were all over the news and vetted by the NYPD, Secret Service, and FBI. There was no witness, no camera footage, nothing."

Ed chuckled lightly. "Nice to see you're still on top of things even on vacation."

I rolled my eyes. "Ed. Your point, I have breakfast waffles and a new goldfish to buy."

"Aw, Alfred the ninth didn't make it? I had hopes…"

"Ed!"

"Yeah, sorry Bo." He took in a sharp breath. "There was a witness. One the NYPD, FBI, and Secret Service have no idea about. A rookie cope found her under the one dead Secret Service agent when she was first on scene. The woman was shaking, covered in blood and dead silent. Viv said the woman only said a handful words when he helped her up." Ed paused. "She said, it was the President's brother. We were lucky that the rookie cop was smart enough to call his CIA uncle, freaking out what to do since the media was swarming the alley. His uncle called our office, the was taken into our custody within an hour."

I opened my eyes, lifting them towards the TV. "Did you check footage?" I pushed away from my desk and walked over to the empty fishbowl. I knew the implication of having a shell shocked witness pointing fingers at the president's inner circle.

"Viv did. The woman saw everything, it shows everything. Viv has pulled the footage and scrubbed if for the rest of the agencies. As it stands, the CIA is handling this case, but no one knows it. No one knows we have the eyewitness." He paused again. "We're working on identifying the shooter via the footage, but it looks like she can positively identify the brother as the culprit. The problem is, his alibi is hard to crack."

Leaning on my elbows, I stared at the tiny castle I had gotten Alfred last week to celebrate him making it past three days. "So she's in CIA custody and I need to baby sit her?"

"You're the best, Bo. The best CIA shadow operative there is, and we need you to keep this woman out of the spotlight until we can put all the evidence together. She will need to make a statement, testify and be the key witness when we get the brother into custody." He let out a slow breath. "We have to do this right, Bo."

Flicking the bowl with my finger, I stood up. "I'll be there in an hour. We move her a half hour after that, and I do this my way." I ended the phone call, heading back to the bathroom to shower and day goodbye to my vacation.

October 18th – 10:30

Walking into the basement of the drab office building I worked at, I smiled at the few security officers who let me in. All of them making jokes about how I couldn't go twenty four hours without coming in. I just smiled and shrugged, remarking once a workaholic, always a workaholic.

My smile faded when I walked deeper into the basement, punching in my code to open up the restricted area where my real office was. The magnetic door whooshed open, revealing a scene out of any spy, or science fiction movie. Appropriately bright lighting reflecting off the steel floors and walls, secured doors every other step lining the hallway I walked until it took me to the small conference room where we kept witnesses, assets, and visitors. It was a comfortable room with a large couch, a table and a few magazines to make it feel less sterile.

I swung around the doorway, grinning when I saw Viv holding a cup of coffee for me. "You're an angel, Viv."

She winked at me, runny a hand through her thick, brown curly hair. "And you're a devil without your coffee, Bo." She nudged me in the shoulder, pointing to the opposite side of the room. "She's in there. She finally fell asleep ten minutes ago. The poor woman hasn't stopped shaking since I picked her up." Viv's brown eyes showed her compassion, one of the few weaknesses she carried. She could kill you with a pen, but then look at you with heartbreak for having to kill you. "Ed is arranging the transport, he's kept this at alpha. Only a team of five is on this investigation."

Clutching the warm mug, I nodded. "You have a file for me?"

Viv winked at me, pulling a black file out from under her arm. "I certainly do." She handed it over to me, taking the coffee so I could use both hands.

Flipping open the cover I read while Viv spoke. "Lauren Lewis, thirty three years old and a well know neighborhood florist over in Greenwich. She's single, never married, and the only relationship she's had in the last six months, ended seven months ago. Her ex left her for a finance banker and moved to Switzerland. She has no immediate family that will worry, or question why she's not home."

I grinned, closing the file and tucking it under my arm, preferring the sound of Viv's warm voice telling me everything I needed. "Go on."

Viv gave me a dirty look, tapping on a switch to bring up a large projection screen on the wall across from us. She pointed at the wall. "This is her, granted she looks a little more worse for wear when you see her. Shock and trauma will do that."

The picture was of a smiling blonde with big brown eyes, the woman was beautiful and made me hate this last minute assignment a little less. I cocked an eyebrow. "She's attractive, are you sure there isn't anyone?"

I cast a look at Viv, who rolled her eyes. "I'm sure. Her Chinese landlady told me that she is always alone, pays on time, and never has overnight guests." She pointed a finger at me. "Lucky for you, you won't have to clock a snooping girlfriend like you did in Miami in the last case."

I laughed, earning another shit ass look from Viv. "She charged me, it was self defense."

"Of course it was." Viv turned back to the screen, flicking through a few more images. "Bottom line, this will be an easy ghosting. She's a loner, has no real connections to people in her neighborhood, and based on her interviews, she's extremely intelligent." She motioned to the file I still had tucked under my arm. "Graduated from USC with a masters in botany with a minor in foreign policy. Smart woman, observant woman." Viv folded her arms across her chest. "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Leaving a flower delivery and took the alley as a shortcut home. Came across the first lady's motorcade. Went to back up, when she heard yelling. The yelling turned into something more, then shots were fired. She stated that as the shooter heard her scream, he turned on her. They made eye contact, and that's when a Secret Service agent shoved her to the ground, taking the bullets intended for her." Viv shook her head. "The rest I stopped reading, it was too much after watching the video we have."

I raised my eyebrows. "So you believe her? And how big of a shadow will I need to make for her? Ghosting, or does she need to disappear?"

Viv turned and met my eyes. "I do. The evidence is all there, we just need to line it up before presenting it to the DOJ secretary. She saw the first lady murdered by her brother in law." She sighed. "We need to keep her safe as we investigate more. There's something in that footage that doesn't sit right with Ed and I." Viv stared at me. "The shadow has to be big enough that not even the NSA can smell her in the wind for a few weeks."

"Meaning?" I moved closer to Viv, my adrenaline began to pound at Viv's words. This wasn't a good sign if the NSA was being mentioned.

She sighed again. "Meaning after sorting through audio and video footage, we have a hunch the president might be behind this as well." She waved her hand in the air. "Yes, the picture perfect presidential couple is nothing but the American dream, but Bo, you and I both know that President Devin Carlisle is far from the shining boy next door."

I nodded. "The boy next door who couldn't keep his hands off the neighbor's wife, daughters, and cousins. I remember reading the transcripts from his Secret Service detail. He's a slimy creep." I frowned.

"Yeah, I guess when you're the youngest president in American history, you think you can ass grab the world and get away with it." Viv shook her head, looking down at her phone. "Ed has transport ready." She glanced up at me. "Let's go wake your girl and get the show on the road."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "I'm taking a five week vacation when this is done."

Viv rolled her eyes, walking to the door to the small room where Lauren was sleeping.

When the door opened, I looked up to make direct eye contact with big brown eyes that held all of the fear in the world. Lauren was huddled up in the middle of the small bed, wrapped in the thick blanket but still shivering like she was in the arctic. She looked like she had been through hell and back. Her clothes dirty, stained with blood and her blonde hair was messily tied back. I glanced at Viv. "You could've let her use the locker room."

Viv gave me a shitty look. "It was offered, but she refused. She's clearly wary of everything, even after I explained who we are."

I sighed, moving to the bed, hating that the woman scooted back against the wall away from me. "My name is Bo Dennis. I'm not going to hurt you."

Lauren shook her head. "That's what he said, then he pointed the gun at me." She paused as her eyes welled up with tears.

I knelt down in front of the bed, looking right up in her eyes. Eyes that I imagined were incredibly beautiful when they weren't so filled with distraught fear. "I'm here to keep you safe." I dug around in my pocket to pull out my badge and ID. "I work for the CIA, I'm what a specialist in keeping people like you safe." I set it on the bed next to Lauren for her to look at. "No one but my friend Viv, my boss and I know what you saw. Who you saw, and I'm going to doing everything I can to keep you safe until we get this sorted out."

Lauren glared at me. "I don't want to talk about it. I've been interviewed, poked at, prodded at by cops, and now I'm in a padded cell."

I held up a hand, stopping her before those tears did spill over. "Lauren, can I call you Lauren?" She gave me a hard stare as an answer. "I'm not going to ask you to tell me anything, I don't need to know what you saw, what you did." I paused, smiling softly. "All I need to know is what size clothing you wear, and what's your favorite food."

Lauren's face softened as she tipped her head down, tears rushing down her cheeks and making my heart skip. I'd kept a thousand people in the shadows. Shitty witnesses to mafia murders, innocent idiots, pompous politicians, but none of them made me want to wrap them up in my arms and tell them everything was going to be okay. I cleared my throat and stood up. "I'll take you to the locker room and get you cleaned up. Then we hit the road." I looked at Viv silently asking her to leave the room. It was one of the ways I built trust with my shadows.

When Viv clicked the door shut behind her, I looked at Lauren, shivering as she asked me. "Where am I going? Are you going to kill me?"

The fragility in her voice made me swallow hard. I shook my head, moving closer to her. I knelt back down, placing my hands on her knees. She flinched and looked in my eyes. "Lauren, I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to protect you, even if that means I have to kill anyone who comes to hurt you." I paused. "Have you ever been to Maryland?"

Lauren's face scrunched up, she fell apart into heavy sobs leaning into my shoulder as she let out the weight of the last twenty four hours. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight as she sobbed. I squeezed her, smelling the remnants of gun powder, blood, sweat and fear on her. It made me angry that this woman was caught in the middle of a such a horrifying incident. An incident that she had nothing to do with, but would be hunted the moment they found out she had seen everything.

That's when I instantly knew this case was going to be the hardest of my career.


	2. Chapter 2

**N: these will be short, quick chapters of whatever. Writing is a wee bit of a struggle right now, so be patient. Upheaval is a constant state of living for me lately and things are moving around in my life. So read on and hopefully there will be more plot to this story and less doughnuts.**

 **Thank you all for the reviews and excitement! It does mean a lot when the crap gets thick. Lastly, to the "anon" who messaged me the other day about my rudeness. One, you were logged into your account so the anon thing didn't really work out, two, you don't actually really know me. I'm a shadow with a penname for a reason.**

 **With that, the rest of you read on and enjoy!**

* * *

"Dick." I flipped off the truck as he passed me, gunning his engine like the idiot he was. There wasn't a damn car for miles on the highway, but the jackhole in a huge pickup truck hung onto the bumper of the black Tahoe I was driving for the last four miles. I shook my head watching him speed off into a speck in the distance, and looked over at my sleeping passenger.

Lauren was out like a broken light. She had fallen asleep ten minutes after we left the office and got stuck in the never ending New York traffic. I was relieved she had fallen asleep on her own, and I wouldn't have to slip a sedative into her coffee. She had been skittish, nervous, and tense the entire time I was with her. Even when I left her in the locker room to have a few moments of peace, she scanned the room. Clutching the travel size shampoo bottle as if she was going to use it as a make shift shank. It made me want to hold her again, take on the fear she carried, and promise that I would do everything I had to to keep her safe.

I turned back to the road, tapping on the edge of the steering wheel and eyeing the sign telling me the next rest stop was only a quarter mile away. I needed to pee and more coffee. I hadn't been prepared to wake up and take on a new case. I had woken up prepared to eat cereal on the couch and take four naps before I dragged my ass to the pet shop for Alfred the tenth. Not take on a beautiful stranger who had experienced the worst day of her life that would be followed by weeks of looking over her shoulder, waiting for the second worst day of her life to happen. I sighed, cursing the stupid president and his stupid piggish ways. It was one thing to cheat on your wife, and be a perv, but it was another to drag an innocent woman like Lauren into the mix. I had read more of her file while I waited for Lauren to finish in the shower and found her intriguing. There was more to the woman, and I hoped I had the chance to engage in some sort of conversation. For whatever reason, I felt the need to get Lauren to relax and completely trust me. Something I rarely cared about with cases. They only had to trust that I wouldn't put them in harms way until whatever justice was served. I had once spent a month in complete silence with a case. An asshole politicians clerk who went to the NSA with leaked classified files. Files leaked by his boss in hopes of starting a revolution against the country by selling secrets to China. The clerk would only speak to agents, not fully understand I was a CIA agent. He thought I was his overpaid babysitter and treated me like one. I was never more grateful to see someone go to prison than I was that politician, his multiple life sentences ended my month long silent treatment.

I frowned, that was the last case I took before I submitted my vacation request. I had to be away from the job for awhile, remember why I became a shadow operative.

But Lauren, there was something about her that snagged my interest. Never mind that she was even more attractive cleaned up and wearing Viv's boyfriend's jeans with one of my old sweaters I kept at the office. She was gorgeous and her big brown eyes spelled out all of her emotions in one look. I knew instantly her eyes were where I would find the truth if she lied. I shook my head, shaking out the personal opinions of her.

That is if I could get her to say more than two words at a time, making me incredibly nervous I was about to fall into another silent patch. Lauren had gone practically mute from the third step out of the conference room. I could feel how scared she was as she walked a few steps behind me, walking through the hidden tunnels to the car. I would only hear a few deep, shaky breaths as I told her the next few steps of what was going to happen next. Then it was silence from then on as I started the car and took her out of the city.

I yawned, moving the car into the far right lane to catch the rest stop. I had to get coffee in me, there was at least an hour and a half until we reached the safe house. Where I could have more coffee and a nap.

"Why are we stopping? This isn't Maryland." Lauren's low raspy voice appearing out of the thin air, startled me. I glanced over at her. She was squinting, pulling the sweater sleeves over her trembling hands.

I smiled. "We are just outside of Philly." I pointed to the bright sign shouting there was hot coffee to be bought. "I need coffee and I need to use the restroom." I looked at Lauren, watching her jaw tighten with nerves. "You can stay in the car, if you want." She looked at me with wide frightened eyes. I held up a hand. "This car is a tank. Bulletproof everything, the window tint allows you to look out, but no one can look in." I tapped the touch screen on the dashboard. "It locks up like a vault the second I walk out with the key and if anyone tries to break in, they get a hefty jolt. The car is wired like a cattle prod."

Lauren tipped her head down, plucking at a hole in her jeans. "I keep trying to tell myself I'm safe. I'm okay. But then I think about last night, I see everything. The look in his eyes." She paused, chewing on her bottom lip before looking up at me. "He's going to kill me. I know it. He's going to find me, and follow through on his promise." She closed her eyes, visibly trying to fight falling apart. "I was only delivering an anniversary bouquet. A cute older man ordered them for his wife right at close. I couldn't say no, blame the hopeless idiot romantic in me." She shook her head. "I should've said no."

I reached over, laying my hand on her shoulder, resisting the urge to wipe away the tears rolling down her face. "Lauren, this isn't your fault." I took a breath when she looked at me with those heartbreaking eyes, telling me she didn't believe my words. I squeeze her shoulder, holding her gaze. "No one is going to hurt you. Not under my watch, not ever. I'm your shadow. Wherever you go, I'm right behind you. Keeping you safe from this fucked up world." I smiled and cringed. "Sorry, language."

Lauren sniffled, wiping her cheeks with the sweater. "It's okay, I've said fuck a few times, and I agree. This world is a fucked up place." She turned, looking out the window at the empty doughnut shop. "Can I come inside with you?" There slight tremor in her voice, twisted my stomach. Fueling the desire to keep her safe.

I pulled my hand from her shoulder. "Of course." I smiled softly. "But do you mind standing outside of the stall while I pee? I am super self conscious when people watch me pee."

Lauren spun her head around, blinking. "Um, I didn't mean. I just wanted to go inside the shop with you. I'm starving and wanted to get something to eat, and maybe use the bathroom."

She stammered until I chuckled and winked. "Lauren, I'm kidding. I was trying to ease the air around us." I shut the car off, taking a quick look around the parking lot for anything that stood out of the ordinary. "Just stay close to me and don't talk to strangers. I still have to give you your new identity."

"New identity?"

I nodded, pushing the heavy drivers door open. "Everyone gets one when they fall into my shadow. It's a precautionary move I make. It keeps the heat off of you for as long as it takes for things to shake down. It's an old CIA trick they abandoned in the eighties. But since I love the eighties, I kept it in my bag of tricks." I smiled, taking a deep breath of the cool air rushing into the car. "Come on, let's get you some food. We can talk more on the road if you want."

Exiting the Tahoe, I walked to Lauren's side, holding the door open as she slid out cautiously. Looking around the parking lot, and tucking her arms deep against her chest. "Bo."

I looked at her. "Yes?"

She stared into my eyes, hers still edged with exhaustion. "Can I trust you?" It was asked softly, tentatively, but with enough conviction that I had to answer truthfully.

I stepped closer to the blonde. "Lauren. Yes. Yes you can trust me. I swear on Alfred's life, er, lives. I will keep you safe. Nothing, and no one, will get close enough to look at you sideways, let alone harm you." I held out my hand to help her out of the giant car. "Shall we?"

Lauren stared for a minute longer, before sliding her very warm hand into mine. Squeezing it right before letting go. "Thank you." It was a broken whisper, but it was filled with relief.

We walked towards the coffee shop, Lauren bumping into me every few steps she was so close. I had to resist, reaching back and holding her hand to comfort her and keep her from wobbling. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, she had her head to the ground. Wiping away more tears before they slipped down to her chin. Something about the way her hand felt in mine, told me a few things that I probably should ignore. Have to ignore since I was on the job and she was in a perpetual state of fear of death. But, sometimes you can't control the things you feel when they blindside you like a semi truck on a foggy road.

I swallowed down the words that wanted to come out, and opened the door to the shop for her to walk inside.

* * *

Once we were back in the safe confines of the Tahoe, I crammed half a fruity pebble doughnut into my mouth before starting the car up. Lauren was quietly fidgeting with the lid on her coffee, a white bag of doughnuts, untouched, in between her legs. I smiled around a huge mouthful. "You ready?"

She nodded without looking over. She had fallen back into silence after we both hit the bathroom and made our doughnut selections. Lauren kept looking around the place like the boogey man was about to jump out from under the tables. I had to touch her arm a few times to get her to answer the bored teenager behind the counter. Noting that whenever I did gently touch her, it seemed to ground her. Settle her down and make her almost smile. I even got her to almost laugh when I made a terrible crueler joke that bombed hard. But hearing her laugh, sent a strange feeling through my chest and to my heart. Making it take a note that it would like to hear that sound more often.

I pulled the Tahoe out on the highway, cramming the other half of the doughnut into my mouth. I was an aggressive eater when I was hungry, and had spilled precious doughnut crumbs everywhere. I began picking at the crumbs on my chest, making sure I got every little bit before I went after the Oreo doughnut sitting next to my coffee.

I was half watching the road, half picking at crumbs when I heard. "Who's Alfred? Your father?"

I picked the last crumb and reached for the other doughnut. "Alfred is my fishes."

"Fishes? You mean fish?" Lauren's tone was dripping with confusion.

"No, I meant fishes." I took a huge bite. "He, they, are my goldfish. Alfred one through nine." I smiled at the look on Lauren's face. "They die after four days, like goldfish do. I named them after my grandmothers dog, and well, I'm not really good at keeping anything alive. Hence the one through nine title." I smiled, I might be a hard ass CIA agent, but deep down I was a dork with a cheesy sense of humor. And I really wanted to make Lauren laugh again.

"You swear on the life of dead goldfish, preservation of my safety?" Lauren turned to look at her coffee.

I sighed, realizing my faux pas. "Well, yes. But I love Alfred. Every one of them and have done my damnedest to keep them alive. Alfred the ninth lasted longer than the others. I think I kept him too close to the coffee machine and he overheated." I was slightly rambling. "Lauren, I was kidding about the dog. Alfred is my dad's middle name and he is my favorite human in this entire world. I was trying to get you to relax."

She huffed, turning in her seat to face away from me. "That's not what bothered me."

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, nervous I had shit all over the trust bed I just made. "I want you to be honest with me, it's the only way we will work together." I was cursing my dumb humor no one understood.

"I'm not really good at keeping anything alive, is not what you tell the person who's life you're solely entrusted with." Lauren closed her eyes. "Please wake me up when we get to wherever you're taking me."

And like that, the trust bed had been broken. Thrown out the window, and the gaping hole bricked over.

I whispered a curse word and turned back to the road. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant plants, tiny animals and other…." I frowned. I needed to shut the hell up and focus on getting to Maryland. I also needed to stay behind my own shadow. The one I created a long time ago to hide in when I was on new cases. A shadow Lauren had destroyed the second she looked at me with those brown eyes and laughed at my dumb doughnut joke.

I rolled my eyes, hunkered down in the driver's seat and stared at the highway. I had to reel it in before I admitted that there was something about Lauren that made me want to be me protecting her, not the cool practiced shadow operative assigned to keep her alive and out of the hands of the president's murderous brother.

I spent the next few minutes, grumpily eating my doughnut in hopes it would chase this embarrassed feeling out of my system, and prevent me from looking at the blonde next to me every three seconds trying to come up with a witty apology that would fix the goldfish debacle.

Instead, I ate four doughnuts and said nothing.

The next few weeks were going to suck.


	3. Chapter 3

**N: i dont even know whats happening, but it's working me out of my block and i can work on the other book tomorrow. This gets me excited, along with finding the dick tracy sound track on spotify...nothing beats old madonna. well, old young madonna.**

 **So, read on. I have nothing to say about what happens next and what i developed in this chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

Pulling into the driveway of the large townhouse, I let out an internal sigh of relief. Lauren and I would now have more space to ignore each other and not have it stifle the interior of the Tahoe, like it had for the last hour. I looked up to catch Viv walking out of the front door with a specific look on her face. "Shit." I knew that look. It didn't mean anything good, or that she brought a welcome home casserole.

I glanced at Lauren, she was bent over collecting up her trash. I held out my hand to take it. "I can take that if you want to go inside and get settled."

Lauren said nothing, just continued to pick up her trash and exit the car. I groaned and hopped out of the Tahoe. This was going to be hard for the next however many days I had to be by her side. I shook my head as I walked over to Viv, now smiling and holding the door open for Lauren to enter. She turned to face me, her smile fading as she pointed at me to follow her. "Viv, you were supposed to drop of the supplies and be gone by the time we got here." I folded my arms, wishing I had taken off my leather jacket. The gentle creaking of the material was grating on my already irritated nerves.

Viv nodded, walking into the townhouse and heading to the basement where a small communications center was. "I was. I had a nice reservation at a crab shack up in Baltimore for dinner. Luke and I were going to celebrate our two year anniversary." She moved to a monitor, bending down to tap on the keyboard to bring up a grainy video. "Then this fell into my email while I was unpacking Lauren's new clothes." She turned, her eyes drifting to the front of my shirt. "Are those doughnut crumbs?"

I scowled, quickly brushing my hands over my shirt. "Talk to me about this video." I moved closer to the monitor, my analytical mind scanning the whole thing and realizing it was the alley where the murder happened, but from a high vantage point. "Shit, don't tell me."

"A concerned citizen sent this into the GNN, that wanna be news channel? The one that spends more money on celebrity sightings than it does real news?" Viv leaned on the edge of the desk, pointing at a few things. "Taken with a cellphone, it records the whole scene, but it only catches one side of the alley." She moved her finger to the edge of the screen where I clearly saw Lauren and the one secret service agent. "You see the first lady fall here, and then the rest. The part where the agent pushes Lauren to the ground."

I watched the clip and saw what Viv was pointing out. I didn't have to ask why this was important, I watched as the cell phone camera zoomed in enough to catch a blurry image of Lauren's face as she looked up from under the dead agent. The rest of the video turns to curse words and the owner running to call 911. I shook my head. "Shit. Any idiot with the right software can clean this up and run her face through a recognition program."

Viv nodded, running a hand over her curly hair. "Yeah, but that's not the bigger issue." She clicked on the mouse and brought up new headlines. All of them screaming there was a witness at the scene and now the entire world was on the hunt for this blurry blonde at the scene. Viv clicked on a video of the president standing next to his brother. Looking red eyed and solemn. "I beg to whoever you are to come forward and speak with the officials, help bring my wife's killer to justice." The president broke down, letting his brother take the mic. Cameron Carlisle was a creep, a bigger one than his brother and didn't hide it as well as Devin. You could see the evil in his dead brown eyes. I felt my skin crawl as he spoke.

"I implore you, whoever you are. To come forward and meet with my brother and I. We need to lay Barb to rest and the only way we can do that is after justice is served. I promise you, I will make it worth your time. I have posted a reward of my own money and attached my personal information. Call the FBI and they will put you in direct contact with me. Please. I beg of you, come talk to me so I can make things right."

I slapped the mouse, freezing the video and locking Cameron's creepy face on the screen. "That last bit, he basically advertised he wants to kill her. It's like he's only talking to Lauren." I shook my head, resting my hands on my hips as my mind began to work. "Anyone know anything?" It was a vague question, but Viv knew what I was asking.

She walked to another monitor, showing me a map of the townhouse. "Everything is locked up to your specifics. This is a new safe house for us. Only Ed and I know about it and that's it. The rest of the office are oblivious to you and Lauren. They have no idea she was taken in and think you're on vacation." She pointed a few things out. "Cameras are on every corner. There are perimeter alarms, and basically if anyone tries to break in, you'll know before they do." Viv straightened up. "As of right now, Lauren is still in New York and the police would like to talk to her. I have it set up that she will be leaving for her family home up in Bangor, Maine in a half hour to get away for a few days. That will give her a few days and a cold trail for the creeps to follow until we get our evidence in line."

I nodded. "Good, good. The quicker we can get the evidence locked in against the brother, the quicker he can be charged with murder and sent up to max." I closed my eyes, rolling my neck to work out the stiffness of driving for hours. "The quicker I can go on vacation."

"Uh oh, I know that tone. What did you do?"

I shot Viv a dirty look. "Wipe the smirk off your face, I didn't do anything." I moved to head back upstairs. I wanted to check on Lauren and fill her in on a few things.

Viv followed, laughing. "Bullshit Bo. You have doughnut crumbs all over your shirt, which means you were stress eating in the car. Something you never do unless you screwed up. Second, Lauren asked if I could stay instead of you." She cocked an eyebrow. "So, what did you do?"

I frowned, closing the basement door after Viv and I entered the kitchen. "I tried to be funny."

Viv laughed again. "Oh lord, we all know that never works out for you. You have the most awkward sense of humor when it comes to trying to break the tension."

"Shut up." I shrugged my leather jacket off, laying it over the counter. "I cracked a joke about promising to keep her safe and swearing on Alfred's lives. Then I rambled about how I kill every plant in a two mile radius." I squeezed my eyes shut, embarrassed as hell, and gathered my hair back into a ponytail. "There's something about her, Viv." I left it hang in the air, knowing Viv would catch my drift. She was the one person in my life who knew just about everything about me.

"Oh brother, Bo." She stood opposite of me. "I've only heard you say that about one other person." Her voice softened. "Kiera was a lifetime ago, in a lifetime where you were an innocent college junior, before I recruited you to join the fight. Not the best damn shadow agent I've ever worked with, and the CIA will ever have." She placed a warm hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. "Let your talent speak for you, shove that something you see to the side and focus on keeping this woman alive so she can take down creeper incorporated." Viv looked at me harder. "Don't let your heart in on this one, it's a big shit show that will require all of your talent. President creep has access to a lot of resources, thank god he doesn't realize we exist. That will give you more time, but don't Bo. I know how big your heart is, please be careful."

I nodded, smiling tightly, looking into the eyes of my best friend in the world. "I know, I just need to figure out how to fix what I already broke and get her to trust me." Deep down, I knew I wouldn't be able to completely shove away the something about Lauren that had me acting like the true dork I was. "Hey, maybe you can go over my highlight reel with her? Explain that underneath the stress eating idiot, I'm a badass?"

Viv rolled her eyes and walked towards the front door. "I will not do that, Bo. Just do your job like you always have and she'll see it. She might end up hating you, but at least she will be alive and hating you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I walked behind Viv, grateful to spot the giant couch and television in the other room.

Viv picked up her coat and purse. "It means, Bo, that when you're in shadow mode, you're a bit of a cold asshole. It works, but it leaves people not wanting to be around you." She winked at me. "I have to go, I have a reservation I'm going to be late for." She waved as she walked out of the house. "Don't give me that look, I got you your favorite cereal. That weird fruity peanut butter one the kids eat."

I tried to be mad, but was far too excited about cereal to give it a second thought. After closing the door, I spun on my heel to make a dash to the kitchen when I caught Lauren standing at the top of the stairs to the second floor. She looked pale and as if she had been crying again.

I took a step towards her. "Lauren?"

"I turned the TV on in the bathroom. The news." Her face contorted. "They know, they know I was there."

I went to run up the stairs, grab her as that something about her begged me to do. But I stopped, taking Viv's advice and adopted my work persona. "They have grainy cell phone footage, it's not much and it doesn't really show you. Viv has already taken care of things. She's arranged a double to pose as you if the time comes, and throw the officials off. You're fine, you're safe in this house." I swallowed hard, hating the look on her face as I fed her cold facts. Cold, uncaring facts that made her feel like a piece of property and not a human. It was a tactic I used in every case I had, and it worked. One because I never cared to get close to the people I was protecting, and two they were just a job. A morbid way to think of things, but it's how I kept us both safe. I had a perfect record and wasn't about to screw it up now.

Lauren nodded, turning slowly on the stairs, only to stop and look down at me with scared eyes. "I don't know which room is mine." Her voice was soft, broken and I had to fight harder to hold on the cold demeanor.

I walked up the stairs, politely excusing myself around her, careful not to brush against her as I pointed to the door over to the left. "You're over here." I opened the door, revealing a very monotone room. It looked like the spare room it was, nothing of interest, or personality was present. Just a bed, a TV, a dresser, and a large closet off to the side. "The closet is filled with clothes. Viv took the liberty of getting everything in the sizes you gave us." I opened the closet to show the variety. I then walked over to the bedside table. "There is a panic button on the lamp." I turned it to show her a large black button that looked exactly like an on off switch. "Hit this, and I'll be in your room in less than two seconds."

Lauren stood in the center of the room, huddled up and drowning in borrowed clothing. She followed me with her eyes as I went over everything else. The rules, the protocols, and other boring details that bored me as I spoke them.

When I was done, I walked towards the door. "You found the bathroom, everything you need is in there. Feel free to take a bath and settle in as best as you can. I'll be downstairs if you need me." I went to close the door and give the woman privacy. "I'll be making lunch in a few hours, I hope you like chicken salad. When we've eaten, I'll go over your cover story. Also, make a list of things you might want, need, or like, and I will try my best to get it." I sighed, watching the scared blonde stand still. "Ok, well, I'll be downstairs."

I shut the door and rushed down the stairs. Mumbling and cursing myself at having to be like the, when all I wanted to do was the exact opposite. I wanted to be Bo, not Bo the shadow agent keeping the woman scared out of her wits safe.

* * *

XXXX

I was on my second mixing bowl filled with cereal, laying on the couch and watching one of my favorite old sitcoms on the giant TV. The one with the four older ladies living together in Florida, it had been my favorite as a kid, and still made me laugh as a grown adult.

I would have to thank Viv for taking my notes to heart over the years about what I'd like to see in the safe houses. I figured since I lived in them as much as anyone, a few creature comforts would keep me sane. Creature comforts including a huge TV, cable, internet, and cabinets full of cereal. That's all I really needed in life, well, maybe I would get a new fish in a couple of days. Give me someone else to talk to when Lauren was in silent mode.

I was laughing at a one liner, and didn't hear Lauren come downstairs. I did hear her move through the kitchen and out to where I was. I smiled when she stopped standing behind the couch, and could feel her staring at the mixing bowl in my hands, silently judging. "There's three more boxes of this stuff in the cabinet. You can have some if you'd like."

Lauren's breath caught, I had scared her. I turned to look at her, shoving another spoonful of cereal into my mouth. "You don't have to test my skills. I learned my lesson over four doughnuts." I turned back to the TV, laughing at another one liner.

"I wasn't." Lauren huffed, moving around to the front of the couch. "I wasn't trying to test your skills. I…this is one of my favorite shows. I heard the laugh track and came out." She tipped her head down, fidgeting with the button on the baggy grey button down she wore.

I scanned over her clothes, she looked far better in clothes that fit her and I would have to thank Viv at a later time for picking out the tight yoga pants Lauren was wearing. I frowned, tearing my eyes away and focusing on the pinkish brown milk in the bowl. I shouldn't be admiring how her pants fit, I shouldn't look at Lauren as anything other than a case. No matter how hard it was, no matter how stupid beautiful the blonde was. "Yeah, it's a great show. Still holds up after thirty some years." I stood up quickly from the couch and locked eyes with Lauren. She looked at me as if she was looking through my soul and deep into the bottom of my heart. The exact place I kept all of my secrets, I had to look away before she discovered a few of them.

"Bo, I want to apologize for being rude." She paused, slowly looking away from me, leaving me mildly flustered. "I don't know what to feel right now, everything is a mess and I just want to stop feeling scared. Just for five minutes so I can breathe without feeling there's a weight on my chest smothering me." She ran a hand over her blonde hair. "It's everywhere. What happened and I keep living it over and over each time I blink my eyes. That's when I see his face. In the alley, on the news, pleading for me to walk right into his trap." She shook her head swallowing hard. "I'm just a florist. I deliver flowers to make people smile."

I nodded, reminding myself to stay cold. "Don't think about it. I have setup the TV in room to stream video. There's enough things to watch that you won't have to be bothered by the news until this is over." I smiled tightly, excusing myself to walk back to the kitchen. I needed to get away from Lauren before she melted away my exterior and I explored what that something was about her. "I should get your file, we can go over a few things."

Lauren nodded, staring at me as she walked slowly into the kitchen. "My file?"

"Yes, your file." I picked up the box of files Viv left in the kitchen, dropping my bowl into the sink I opened the box and began lifting out envelopes. "You have new everything. Driver's license, social security card, bank cards, membership cards, and we did the best we could with a believable back story." I laid everything out one by one, not bothering to look at Lauren. I felt those eyes on me, felt the emotion pouring out of them.

"Bo. Why are being like this?"

I closed my eyes, cursing internally. This woman was far more intelligent than any of my other cases, and that included a legit rocket scientist. He was book smart, not emotionally intelligent like Lauren. "I'm doing my job."

Lauren stepped to the other side of the counter, she stared at me. "No, you're putting on an act. Or maybe you were putting on an act when we met. The kind, warm protector. The woman who made promises and held me like no one has dared to since my parents died." She clenched her jaw, her cheeks pinking up with frustration. "The woman who made a bathroom joke and bought me a dozen doughnuts, then ate at least nine of them."

I looked up at the ceiling, internally counting that I had eaten eight. Including Lauren's last one that she left abandoned as she fell asleep. I bit my lip, she was observant and intelligent. "I'm doing my job, Lauren. It's nothing personal." Shit. Shit. Shit. Why hadn't I just stayed on track and not bent to the stupid feelings I felt. Stupid gut feelings.

"Bullshit. I vaguely remember you telling me to be honest with you, that it was the only way we could work together." Lauren laid her hands on the edge of the counter. "Be honest with me. You have my life in your hands, how else am I going to be able to trust you?"

I stared in her eyes. Something in my gut swirling around until I finally spoke. "You're not just a florist are you?"

Lauren sighed, closing her eyes. "Fine we'll do this your way. No, I'm not. I know in that file Viv left you, will tell you that." She folded her arms across her chest. "I am a botanist who was treating the first lady. She had reached out to me, secretly, to help her win her husband back to her bed through botanical means. Herbs, flowers, and other homeopathic means. She had come to meet me in the alley after my delivery to pick up a new batch of herbal supplements I had created for her." She frowned. "No one knew but the secret service agent who saved me. I was truly in the wrong place at the wrong time." She blinked a few times to hold back tears. "The first lady was kind. Wanted to do everything she could in her new position to help others." She sniffled and looked at the file sitting in front of me. "I was the top botanist at the CDC for the last five years until my girlfriend left me. I had a breakdown, left the CDC and bought the tiny flower shop, hiding away." Lauren rolled her eyes. "I developed cures to most the third world diseases utilizing plants, that's how the first lady found me. I met her two days before I quit at an award ceremony for the national science society. I also met her gross brother in law that same night. I doubt he remembers me, he was too busy hiding his brothers philandering."

I looked away from Lauren, shocked at how much the woman had shared, and flipped open the file. Everything Lauren had told me was laid out in the file Viv created. Also including that Lauren had been contacted by the president the next day, bribed to come to the department of defense to help develop homeopathic warfare. The president's exact words.

"I refused, numerous times. Still opting to treat the first lady, against my better moral judgement. That's when she told me that she had caught her husband ankle deep in a prostitute in the west wing. His brother supplying through the black human trafficking market. She confided in me, and I subsequently learned things. Knew things that could harm the president." Lauren's voice trembled. "That night was the last time I was going to meet with the first lady. I couldn't keep playing dumb and getting sucked into a world that felt more like a night time drama, than real life." She slowly looked up at me. "I was meant to die that night. It was a double hit. Randy, the secret service agent saved me."

I looked between Lauren and the file. Viv had dug up some of the things Lauren just told me through hacking and wiretaps. Devin and Cameron had created a hit to take out the first lady and Lauren. Wipe the slate clean and open up the door for them to continue on their frat boy ways in the most powerful office in the country. I chewed on the inside of my cheek, shoving the file away. "Okay." I had no idea what to say, Lauren was far more forthcoming than any of my other cases. I was at a loss with her complete honesty.

A few minutes passed as I digested everything, mentally figuring out what I had to do next with all of this information. Lauren was well known, someone somewhere would notice her.

"Alright. I understand if you have nothing to say. I wanted to be honest with you Bo. Wanted you to hear it from me and not read it in a file." Lauren cleared her throat. "There was something about you when I first met you. The way you looked at me, the way you smiled and made promises. It's been a very long time that I felt safe like that. Felt like someone might actually give two shits about me and not want anything from me." She smiled tightly, nodding and looking over at the clock on the microwave. Tears forming in her eyes. "I have a bit of a temper and I apologize if I was rude." She cleared her throat again. "I'm going to go upstairs and try to find something to watch. If you can, can you please get me some books to read? It helps keep my thoughts untangled."

Lauren straightened up and turned to leave. I blew out a breath and spoke before my brain told me to stop. "Alfred is my dad's middle name, I wasn't lying about that. David Alfred Dennis. He lives up in Montana, retired in a giant ranch house where he sits and watches the wildlife. I named my goldfish after him because I rarely ever get to see my dad. My job keeps me busy. Yes, I've gone through nine goldfish, but I honestly think the pet store I get them from sells me the sick ones so I'll come back. I haven't figured it out, but I have one of the office interns running surveillance on it. I kill plants because I leave indoor plants outside, and outside plants indoors. I even killed a cactus, those are impossible to kill." I closed her file, pushing it away before looking up at the blonde. "I've been with the CIA for almost ten years. Viv recruited me when I was a junior at Northwestern studying modern anthropology. I wanted to be the human Jane Goodall, but that fell apart when I had my heartbroken. I became a shadow operative when it was noticed how well I can read people. I have a knack for being a shadow. Following without existing."

I paused, watching Lauren's eyes soften, trust slowly building in. "Although I have nine fish funerals under my belt, a plethora of dead plants littering my fire escape, I have never lost anyone under my watch. They've all lived. I'm the only one in the agency who has this record and I have no intentions to let it slip now." I wanted to tell he that there was also something about her that made me want to be Bo, the cereal eating dork, but I held back. I held up my hands. "That's me. You'll learn the rest of my quirks as you live with me over the next few weeks, so I'll keep that as a surprise. But the rest is the truth, Lauren. I would never lie to you, I couldn't even if I wanted to." I cringed as the words slipped out faster than I could stop them.

She smiled softly, tipping her head down, her cheeks pinking up in embarrassment. "If we're being completely honest, will you tell me if you ate my last doughnut in the car?" She gave me a look that sent a small shiver up my spine. Fuck, she was attractive.

I nodded, standing up and moving closer to her. I took a breath, catching the subtle hints of her shampoo. God did she smell good. I blinked a few times, cursing my whatever that was making me pay more attention to the physical aspects of this woman. "I did, and I don't regret it. It was a peanut butter cup one, and you can't let those go stale. I'm pretty sure it's a federal crime in most states." I grinned when Lauren laughed lightly.

"You owe me. Peanut butter is my favorite." She paused, looking at me in a way that made me sweaty. Sweaty like I was back in high school, talking to my crush for the first time. "Bo, promise me one thing."

"Sure, anything."

"Be this Bo. Be this woman I met in that room. The one who told me with one look I'd be safe in her hands." She smiled tightly. "This is the woman I trust with my life. Not the other one that is just doing her job. I've learned people who are just doing their job don't care as much." Her smile turned into a frown, her eyes welling up.

I reached for her, laying my hand on her forearm, feeling how warm she was. "Lauren, I promise you. Anything you need, I will make it happen." I smiled, squeezing her arm. I wanted so badly to pull her into my arms and hold her until the world forgot she existed.

Lauren held my gaze, before slowly nodding and giving me a sad look. "I really need to eat something. Is there anything to eat that is not kids cereal?"

I chuckled, dropping my hand away from her and walking to the fridge. "Of course. I was going to fire up the oven and make a pizza." I busied myself with grabbing the supreme cheese and pepperoni from the freezer when I heard softly behind me.

"Thank you, Bo. For being you."

I could only turn and smile at the blonde, feeling there was more to her words than a simple thank you.


	4. Chapter 4

**N: i dont know, i just write and this is what happens. i have no plan or true idea for this story, other than it is what it is.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"Lana Turner?" Lauren held the new driver's license I gave her.

I nodded, looking for snack food in the cabinets. I had eaten, a big ole sandwich, but I was still hungry. I was tempted to ask Lauren if I could eat the rest of her untouched sandwich. "Yup. I pick the names. I thought that with a name like Lana, it's close to Lauren and you'll get used to hearing it quicker." I frowned when I only found a bag of yogurt covered raisins. "Plus, it's the name of a classy old movie star that no one under the age of sixty five will recognize." I turned back around, holding out the bag. "Want some?"

Lauren shook her head, still looking at all of the new identification I had made. "No thanks. That stuff is all chemicals. Sucks the natural flavor and nutrients out of the raisins."

I frowned harder, tossing the bag on the counter before moving back to the counter. "We might have to go grocery shopping tomorrow. There's nothing to eat." I leaned on the counter.

"The pantry is full of things. All organic, healthy things." Lauren smirked. "I think Viv is trying to tell you something about your dietary habits."

"Yeah, that she hates me." I glanced at the clock, it was moving into late afternoon and I didn't want to risk going out into this new neighborhood without plenty of daylight. "But tomorrow, we are going to explore Nottingham, Maryland. Find a grocery store, the local authorities, hospital, and get the lay of the land."

I felt Lauren tighten up. "We're going outside tomorrow?"

I nodded, looking up at the woman. "You can stay inside this fortress if you would like. I like to go out into the neighborhood in the first few days of moving in. It allows me to get a handle on what to look out for. Who can be trusted, who is nosy, if the police department is solid." I pushed up from the counter, catching her staring at me petrified. I sighed. "Lauren. You're safe in this house. Alone, or with me in it, the house is locked down. Even if I'm outside, I get alerts and I never stray more than five miles from any safe house."

She continued to stare at me. Clutching the driver's license so hard, her knuckles were turning white. I moved closer to her. "Lauren, relax. We have to try and live as normal as possible while in this situation. If we don't, the fear will take over and you won't ever want to leave that bedroom and the creeps will win."

Lauren tossed her driver's license onto the counter and stood up quickly. "Take me back to New York."

I raised my eyebrows in shock. "I can't do that."

"Yes you can. I'm not in your custody, I'm not under arrest, so take me back home. I'll just go to the authorities and tell them everything. I'll give my statement to the secret service and end this." Lauren's hands shook as she gathered up license and placed them on top of the file. "I can't do this. Live in a surreal reality, living with a dead woman's name, with an agent who doesn't even carry a gun. This isn't normal. I can't pretend to make this normal, so take me home and let's get this over with."

I felt a spike of anger surge, and walked around the counter to face her. "Lauren, stop this. Stop letting your fear consume you." I bent down until I caught her eyes, forcing her to look at me. "You asked me to be me, this is me being Bo. I'm telling you the truth of my routine. It's a routine that sounds casual to you, but it will keep both of us sane. I'm not an easy person to live with, and I don't want to smother you with being all gung ho about being your shadow. I leave those details out, so you can breathe easier. In truth, I am watching everything everywhere. I've already clocked how many times the neighbors on both sides of us have looked out their window, curious about the two new ladies in the townhouse. I know by lunch time tomorrow, the bleach blonde on the right will be over with a welcoming casserole, snooping to see if we are one of those lesbian couples she sees on Oprah." I smiled, seeing Lauren relax ever so slightly. "I've also figured out that you are extremely organized, particular, and detail oriented."

Lauren cocked her head up, fully looking in my eyes. "We've only spent about eight hours together, how could you know anything about me outside of that file?" She nodded to the papers spread out on the counter.

I shrugged. "It's a talent. You organized all of the toiletries in the bathroom in descending size order. You claimed ownership over the pink toothbrush, moving it to the side of the sink you've claimed as your own. Making me assume that you are normally left handed, but as a child forced to write with your right hand, and now you are dual hand dominate, favoring your left." I waved at her plate of half eaten food. "You are a slow eater, probably the scientist in you that wants to chew and fully digest everything the correct way. You're clean to a fault. Picking up the last few crumbs on the Tahoe seat, not to eat like I do, but to throw out and not leave a trail behind." I grinned. "I can admire that, I'm big on not leave a trail for anyone to follow."

I paused as Lauren's eyes grew wider with impressed shock. I held my grin, reaching around to my back to pull out the concealed pistol I always carried, and set it on the counter. "Ten years of training has taught me how to walk while carrying and to hide so no one knows I'm packing. I don't advertise, anything, and it keeps me ten steps ahead of everyone." I stepped from the counter. "One more thing, I understand you're scared shitless and riding out the last few bits of adrenaline running through your body, I will accept that. But in the morning I want you to wake up and say, I trust Bo Dennis, aka Bo Lucipher. I trust her to keep me safe, fed, warm and will never ever take you back home until it is completely safe for you to walk in your front door." I let out a sigh when my rant was finally done, giving Lauren a moment to concoct the rebuttal I knew was coming.

Lauren dropped her eyes to look at the gun. "Lucipher? And no one has ever picked up that the fake names you choose are ridiculous?" She slowly raised her eyes. "How many times have I apologized today for my brash behavior?"

I smiled. "About four, but I'm not counting. And my fake names are the best because they are so ridiculous, people have to believe they are real." I held out my hand. "Shake? Call it a done deal? Tomorrow we wake up, deal with nosy neighbors and go grocery shopping for some real food?"

Lauren smiled, bigger than she had over the last few hours and it made my heart grow all warm at the sight. "Yes. It's a deal." She took my hand, so warm for a woman who was suffering the lingering effects of shock. "By the way, what are we when the nosy neighbors ask?"

I swallowed hard, trying not to let the way her hand felt in mine distract me any further. "Um, we were college roommates. Living together while you get your doctorate in organic farming, and I'm working on my internship with the federal oceanic society. The rest I leave up to us to wing it, the best cover stories are built on the true lives we lead, and that way you won't stumble when asked about your past, or future." I looked down at her hand. "So let's try to work on being friendlier, and maybe not be so skittish." I slowly pulled my hand free, tucking it up into my arm to trap the warmth.

Lauren let out a sigh. "I know. It's hard, Bo. When your life suddenly becomes a lie, and all you wanted was to live the truth." She turned back to the counter, scooping up everything she needed for her life. "I'm going to take a bath and go to bed. Do I have to be up at a specific time?"

I shook my head. "Nope. It's a free for all around this place. No curfew, no alarm clocks." I stared at her, wanting to ask what she meant about living a truth when there was nothing but lies around her. It had me curious. This woman was a virtual blooming onion of mystery. I frowned, now I wanted a blooming onion. My stomach clearly was on its own agenda.

Lauren nodded, a wave of relief washing over her face. I imagined the woman wanted to sleep for a few days. "Alright. I will see you in the morning, Bo." She smiled tightly and walked out of the kitchen.

I waited for the water to start running in the bathroom before I reached over and grabbed the rest of Lauren's sandwich, shoving it in my mouth before I cleaned up the files. I was going to spend the rest of the afternoon in the basement going over the video footage and chat with Viv. I had to run through Lauren the popular scientist. I had to lay out how well known she was so in case I had to move into drastic haircuts to keep the woman incognito. I frowned at the idea of having to cut any inch of her beautiful blonde hair. I rolled my eyes as I walked into the basement office, I had to stop it before I made the neighbors even more suspicious a lesbian could had indeed moved into their quiet suburb.

* * *

XXXX

I lost track of time in work. I had scrubbed the video footage and was able to put a few things together. Especially pulling out the image of the presidents brother holding a gun in the reflection of the window behind Lauren. I sent what I had to Viv, asking her to clean it up better frame by frame. I also went through Lauren's history on the internet, luckily she wasn't a rock star scientist like a few others, and her accolades were nothing more than blurbs in boring science journals. There was one picture of her with the first lady at that science award ceremony she told me about, but she was shoved behind the president and the first lady. Nothing there to go on, or anyone to spot her in a crowd.

I kept working, designing movement plans based on the maps of the small town were staying in. The traffic was light between the hours of ten and five, when everyone was at work, or school. Hacking into the local grocery stores, I found one that had literally no customers during the hours of one to two pm. That would be perfect for Lauren and I to go out. I had everything nailed down for us to move smoothly over the next few days in the town. Keep us on minimal interpersonal contact until Lauren felt more comfortable and I had fully investigated the town. I was excited at finding a local pet store that had a good rating on goldfish survival. I knew it was a bad idea, but I missed Alfred and wouldn't be able to hold out for too long. I rolled my eyes in the dark basement, even I thought I was weird, but I had grown attached to having a companion in Alfred.

I yawned stretching out, it was half past midnight and I was very ready to fall into bed and sleep as long as possible. I stood up from the desk, shutting down the computer and putting away all the files and went to walk upstairs to take a hot shower. I was halfway up the stairs when I stopped, ran back down and pulled out the book I found in my briefcase. It was a thick historical romance novel I bought in an airport out of sheer boredom. The book was good, not a sappy romance as I suspected, but I never had time to read lately and opted for binge watching a show with cereal. I smiled turning the worn book in my hands, I would give it to Lauren. I was still looking for a bookstore that wasn't a franchise, but wasn't having any luck. I wanted to at least honor one of her requests.

I ran up the stairs, headed straight to my room when I heard a noise coming from Lauren's room. I stopped and craned my head towards her door, listening. The noise, a soft cry, definitely was coming from her room.

I closed my eyes, debating. I had dealt with a thousand criers in this job, most of them men, and most of them I ignored. Lauren was different, hearing her cry invoked a fire deep in the pit of my soul that confused the hell out of me. I wanted to run away, then run to her, then run to the idiots who had hurt her and make them cry. I shook my head, I couldn't do this. I had to hold strong and fight these feelings that were growing for her. Whatever they were.

After a few moments, I didn't hear anything else and sighed. Maybe it was the TV in her room. I took a step towards my room when I heard the cry again, followed by what sounded like my name. Shit. I sucked in a breath and slowly opened the door, I would just look in. She would be asleep with the TV on and it would be good. Then I would close the door, take a hot shower and sleep.

But when I pushed the door open I saw Lauren curled up in a ball, sobbing heavily, still asleep and stuck in a nightmare. She was wiggling around, mumbling in her sleep, crying and clearly fighting the nightmare. I entered the room, calling her name softly to try and wake her. She didn't respond, just curled up tighter into a ball and cried. I walked to the bedside, setting the thick book I was holding on the table next to her.

The pain on her face broke my heart, she was trapped in the nightmare, a nightmare that would still be there in the morning. I gently grabbed her shoulder, trying to calm her down. "Lauren, wake up. You're having a nightmare." Waking a person up from a nightmare had to be done gently, or they would lash out. I had been punched in the face a few times, learning that lesson the hard way.

She flinched at the sound of my voice, but stayed asleep. She whimpered. "Bo? Bo? Where are you? No, no, Cameron don't do this! Don't! Let me walk away. Bo! Bo! I need you!" The last part came out in a broken scream.

"Fuck it." I grabbed Lauren and shook her hard to wake her up. "Lauren! Wake up, I'm here." I shook her harder when she tried curling deeper into the mattress. I called her name once more, running my hand down her cheek and pressing my palm against her burning hot cheek. I hated the way her skin felt covered in tears. "Lauren!"

The sharp sound of my voice, broke her free from the nightmare. Her eyes snapped wide open, landing on mine. I went to smile, apologize for being in her room, when she launched herself into my arms. I had to grab onto the bedside table to prevent us both from tumbling to the floor. "Shit Lauren."

She wrapped both of her arms around me, burying her face into my shoulder as she sobbed. Squeezing me so tight, I felt my ribs creak from the pressure. It hurt, but I didn't move, I held Lauren as she heaved huge sobs, mumbling against my shirt, soaking it with tears.

I steadied myself and pushed her back up so we could sit on the bed, never once letting her go. It's not like I could if I wanted to, Lauren had me in a death lock. I ran a hand down her hair, whispering words to settle her down. "You're ok. I'm here, you're ok. It was just a dream."

Lauren leaned back, her face red and puffy. "You were there in the dream. You were there instead of Randy and Cameron shot you. He shot you as you tried to save me." Her face twisted, more tears running down her face. "I thought I lost you." She looked in my eyes, searching.

I smiled, wiping away the tears with my fingers. "It was a dream. A dream that won't ever come true." I let out a slow breath, weighing out the words before I said them. "You won't ever lose me. I promise, I'm always going to be here." I kept my tone even, trying so hard to keep the emotion out. I broke away from her gaze, that one that went right to the bottom of my heart. "I brought you a book. A cheesy bestseller I found in the bottom of my briefcase." God, I was terrible at moments like this. Trying to hold the line between professionalism and what I really wanted, what Lauren needed.

Lauren leaned out of my arms quickly, wiping her face with her sweatshirt sleeves. "I'm sorry, I…"

I held up a hand. "Apology number five. I cap out at six." I scooted to the edge of the bed, patting her blanket covered leg. "Are you okay?"

She nodded vigorously like a child trying to pretend they were okay, when they were far from it. She continued to stare at me, making me nervous. I went to stand up, running my hands down the front of my jeans. "Ok, I'll get you a glass of water and then tuck you back in." I rushed out of the room to rush away from the feelings that were swarming me.

I leaned over the bathroom counter as I filled up a glass, staring at myself in the mirror. I couldn't deny it, the feelings were there. I liked Lauren, I liked her more than my favorite cereal and it confused me. I had only known the woman for a day at most, and now this. I wasn't exact about what feelings she brought up in me, but they were there. Stupid fate, destiny, romance and all that fantasy shit I saw on TV. Making me believe that instant connections were real. She was my priority, her safety was my priority, not that I wanted nothing more than to hold her, run my thumb over her cheek as I readied to kiss her. "Shit." I slapped the faucet off and slowly walked back into the bedroom to find Lauren huddled up in the middle of the bed, her chin resting on her knees. She looked worse than the first time I met her, but still incredibly beautiful.

I walked in, holding out the glass of water. "Here drink this." I stood at the edge of the bed, helping shaky hands grab onto the water. Lauren drank quickly, draining the glass in a few swallows and handed it back to me. "You want more?"

She shook her head, tucking her chin deeper into the blankets covering her legs. "I'm fine, Bo." She sniffled, wiping her nose with a sleeve.

I sighed, shaking my head and setting the glass next to the book. Picking up the book, I grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and dragged to the edge of the bed. I sat down and flipped open to the first chapter where, ironically enough, I had stopped reading. I looked at Lauren. "You said reading helps untangle your thoughts?"

She nodded, still staring at the top of the blanket.

I smiled, leaning my elbows on the edge of the bed. "I'm not good with the Scottish accents, so forgive me if some of the translation gets lost." I cleared my throat and starting read out loud. It only took a few sentences for Lauren to turn and look at me. She said nothing as I continued on, reading to her. I finally got the hang of some of the pronunciations and smiled at my minor success.

I looked up when the bed shifted, Lauren had laid down on her side, staring at me as I read. With every word I spoke, her eyes seem to release some of the heaviness of the nightmare, replaced with a look that had those buggered butterflies wake up in the pit of my stomach. But I kept on, reading past the point I had abandoned in the airport, looking up here and there to see if Lauren was still paying attention.

Around chapter three, Lauren had passed out and was sleeping peacefully. Her hand had found its way to my forearm and would squeeze occasionally. As if she was making sure I hadn't left her.

I sighed, covered her hand with mine and stopped reading out loud. Instead, I made myself more comfortable and read more of the book. It was clear I wasn't going to leave her room any time soon, I might as well make myself comfortable.


	5. Chapter 5

**N: im sick so this whole thing wont make sense. I need a nap. So here's chapter five where things move forward and backwards. Enjoy!**

* * *

The sound of someone snoring pulled me from sleep. I groaned, moving to push whoever it was snoring, away from. I opened one eye, realizing I wasn't in my own bed. I wasn't actually in a bed, I was hunched over the edge of a bed, and I was the one who was snoring. I yawned, lifting my head up, the book stuck to my cheek. Peeling the book free, I spotted Lauren asleep with her back to me. That's when the memories of last night poured in.

I ran my eyes over her, watching her sleep easily for a few second before I stood up quietly and left the bedroom. After shutting the door, I rushed into my room and paced. It was only six in the morning, the sun barely starting to crest over the horizon, but I was wide awake. I paced, mumbling under my breath, cursing my stupid behavior. This would be awkward when she woke up. I probably just sent Lauren back into silent town with what I had done. But I couldn't help it, she needed me and I gave her what she needed. I ran my hands down my face, rubbing at the awkward heat building around my cheeks. This was bad, so very bad. I didn't need to throw more awkward on top of this awkward Caesar salad. I glanced at my stomach, wondering if it always wanted me to eat to keep me from doing stupid things.

I continued wearing holes in the rug covering the nice wood floors that I suddenly took a detailed interest in. I needed to go outside, run around the block and pound out the feelings by pounding pavement for a few miles. I nodded to no one in the room, dumping out the bag in the closet for a pair of running shoes I knew Viv packed. She liked to leave me constant hints that my heart would appreciate exercise after I downed a package of cookies. I groaned as I stripped off the jeans I still wore, and jammed spastic legs into a pair of running pants. Stumbling a few times as I tried shoving my feet into the brand new shoes.

Finally, after bouncing off the bed a few times, I was dressed and ready to go outside. I had to clear my head, I had to gets some air in my lungs. Maybe cold air would shock my heart and stop it from thinking things it shouldn't.

I stopped in the kitchen to grab my gun and set the alarm. Lauren would be safe in the house for a few minutes, maybe I would just run around the huge backyard. I just needed that air. That life giving, life saving, soul distracting cold morning air.

As I was closing the front door behind me, I heard a friendly voice. A friendly voice that was too high and too shrill to be just a polite hello. I spun around to spot the trophy wife neighbor outside of her garage, waving perfectly manicured hands as she wobbled on high heels. Shit, she was coming over here.

"Hello! I was hoping I'd catch you this morning." Her voice was gravelly like she smoke twenty packs a day, mix that with the terrible Baltimore accent, and well. I'll leave the rest to imagination.

I plastered on a fake smile, scanning over this woman. She looked like she fell out of a women's mail order clothing catalogue. All put together in fashions that died in the late nineties, she had bleach blonde hair with heavy roots showing. She had to be in her late forties, chasing fifty against her will. I sighed when I heard the clink clank of her gaudy jewelry bouncing as she hobbled over into my space. She held out a lacquered hand. "Hi I'm Trudy. Trudy Winer. You're next door neighbor." She waved a hand back at the townhouse a hundred feet away. The woman looked like a gold marshmallow shoved into a winter coat. A leopard printed winter coat.

I smiled, taking her hand quickly. "Nice to meet you, Trudy. I'm Bo." I left out the last name. She didn't need to know things like my fake last name. I wanted to be quick and politely impolite.

"Welcome to the neighborhood Bo! That's quiet the name for a woman. It must be short for something." She cocked a plucked eyebrow my way.

"It's a nickname, my dad gave it to me. I don't think I actually remember my full name anymore." I playfully rolled my eyes, earning a chuckle from Trudy. "I need to get going on a run before breakfast." I motioned to the running shoes on my feet.

"Is your…lady friend joining you? I'd love to meet her?" Trudy looked at the house, emphasizing the word lady friend in a way that grated on my nerves.

"No, Lana, my best friend and not my lover, is still asleep. It was a late night unpacking." I half glared at Trudy as she looked mildly disbelieving that I called her out.

"Oh dear, I wasn't implying anything. I just wanted to welcome the new kids to the block." She smiled, blinking at me rapidly. This woman was too much makeup, too much gaudy, and just plain too much for me to deal with at this hour. "You should come over this weekend. Kenny and I are having a crab boil and Roger on the other side of you is coming. It'd be great to get to know you and your best friend." She squinted at me, trying to test the waters about the true nature of my relationship with Lauren.

I smiled tightly. "I will see what Lana's plans are. She has a lot of work to get caught up on, and I have date with my boyfriend Alfred in the city." I have no idea why I said it, there was no boyfriend in my life. There had been no in my life in the last two years. I silently apologized to all of the Alfred's for dragging them into this lie.

Trudy's smile turned less sinister. "Oh my, well Alfred is more than welcome to stop by for a plate of crabs. We have plenty." She bent her head to look past me, waving at the window.

I turned, swallowing hard as I caught Lauren looking between me and Trudy. I caught the look in her eyes, and I was suddenly afraid to go back into the house. "Looks like Lana is up. I better let you go, she looks like she needs you."

I nodded slightly, taking notice that Trudy's judgmental tone was completely gone. Seems my goldfish boyfriend had chased her off the trail that Lauren and I were more than best friends. More than CIA agent and her shadow details. "Yeah, I should go help her get the food unpacked." I sighed, shaking my head as Trudy and her jewelry jangled away, issuing a toodle loo that made me want to kick her in her toodle loo.

I walked back into the house and went to run right upstairs when Lauren's voice pulled my attention to the kitchen. "So, does she think we are a couple? I saw the way she was glaring at you." Lauren's voice was low, tired and still carried the edges of the nightmare.

I shrugged, smiling. "I think I threw her off when I mentioned my boyfriend Alfred."

Lauren looked at me, a half smile on her face as she set up the coffee maker. "Your boyfriend?"

I sighed. "I was in a bind. She was being nasty about being nosy in regards to you, so I chased her off the trail of suspicion by telling her my dead goldfish was my boyfriend." I paused, frowning. "God that sounds terrible." I moved back to the stairs. "Anyways, she invited us over for a crab boil this weekend, but told her we both had plans. I'll look into her later tonight, but I'm pretty sure she's a harmless housewife with nothing to do in her days but harass the youngins next door." I waved an awkward hand in the air. "I'm going to go get ready for the day. If you're up for it, we can take a drive in a few hours and look over the town." I nodded awkwardly, trying to avoid the look in Lauren's eyes. It was making me really warm and I liked it.

"Bo, thank you for last night." She smiled sheepishly. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that, but thank you for being there. Reading to me." She went very quiet near the end.

"Sure, no problem." I bit my bottom lip. Wanting to say a few other things, but then thought if I said anything, I would be emotionally cheating on Alfred. Yeah Bo, great excuse. Real great. "Ok." I turned and ran up the stairs.

* * *

XXXX

An hour later, i was backing the Tahoe out of the driveway. Lauren next to me looking out the window. I felt a bit more relaxed after going through my morning routine. Lauren had retreated to the living room while I got ready. Watching old reruns on the streaming service, drinking coffee, and for a second I was sure I got a glimpse of what she was like when the world wasn't hunting her. Smiling, calm, beautiful, and smiling. That smile of hers, it was one I would fight armies to see. It was a true conclusion I came to when I stood in the doorway, watching her for a few moments.

The strange awkward tension I felt from waking up in her room, wasn't as heavy as I suspected. It was just lingering around the edges of the other tension we both carried. The one that came with the situation we were in.

Pulling out the subdivision, I leaned against my door. "So, grocery store first? Or bookstore?" I glanced at Lauren, looking down and picking at something on her jeans.

"We can go to groceries first. Maybe I'll find something that peaks my appetites interest." She smiled softly, looking at me. "I've only really had coffee in the last couple of days."

I smiled back. "I noticed, not that I'm complaining, since I'm eating your leftovers. But, yes, we should try to get you to eat something." I tapped on the touch screen GPS. "The grocery store is only four miles down the street. We'll have the place to ourselves." I tapped again, bringing up another location. "I found this little bookstore this morning when I was…um, changing, and I think you'll like it." I cringed. I had found the bookstore while I was pacing in my room trying to think, but was distracted with the urge to run out in the cold air.

"Bo, what were you doing this morning when I saw you out with that Trudy woman?" Lauren spoke carefully. I knew it was her way of trying to not to act brash, react harshly, and wait for an explanation.

"I uh, I was going to go for a run around the block. Get some air in my lungs and clear my head." I swallowed hard, I couldn't lie to her. "What made you suspicious?" I had to pick her brain, I had to know what she noticed and what she didn't notice. Hopefully it would give me hope that she wasn't picking up on my goofy behavior. The one that always crept up when I liked someone.

"The running shoes. You've only worn boots since I met you. Boots on you make sense to me, you're always prepared. Boots are being always prepared." She turned to look out the windshield. "Are you a runner?"

I chuckled, finding the irony in her comment. "Yes and no. I mean I run for exercise, it helps keep the doughnuts off my hips. Clears my head and destroys my knees, but I in a way I love it." I glanced at her as we stopped at a red light. "But that's not what you're asking, is it?" I had felt the hesitation in her voice when she asked, meaning she was picking up that I was possibly put off by her clingy night last night.

Lauren smiled, shaking her head. "I was just curious about your exercise habits. I want to know what your routine is so I can stay locked up in the house while you're out." She smiled once more and turned back to whatever was on her jeans that had her attention.

I left it. There was something brewing between us, it was evident. Lauren was asking double questions. The kind were you're overtly asking one thing, but actually asking something else. Whoever her ex was, had run from her, lied to her, and made her feel there wasn't much about her anyone would care about. That was just my impression, my agent skills coming through and it broke my heart.

I let silence fill the car and focused back on the road ahead. Whatever it was brewing between us, it definitely wasn't a hot pot of coffee. It was something that suddenly had me scared shitless.

XXX

"You did really well holding your own with the meat man, Lana." I chuckled, pushing the shopping cart out to the Tahoe. We had enough groceries that we wouldn't have to make an extra trip for a couple of weeks. This made me happy, since I had just developed a sour taste in my mouth for the meat man who had been flirting with Lauren as she chose porkchops.

"It's easy when you want nothing to do with the person you're talking to." Lauren walked next to me, her head down. "It was easy to lie to him, he reminds me of all the boys who tried hitting on me in college. I was nice, but firm." She nodded with her chin at the full shopping cart. "At least he gave me a discount on the meat."

I looked down at the thick cuts of meat wrapped in Styrofoam and plastic. "I should take them back, he was laying it on heavy and I didn't like it." I tried biting back the words before the fell out, but fail. "I mean, no one should be talked to like that in a grocery store."

Lauren laughed, opening the back hatch to the Tahoe. "I know what you mean Bo, but thank you for thinking of my honor. He thinks he has a chance with Lana Turner, when he has no chance in hell with Lauren Lewis." She looked up, reaching for a bag full of my junk food. Her eyes met mine, and she smiled softly. "He's not my type."

I swallowed hard, handing over grocery bags. Hot coffee was spilling over in that look, I could feel it. There was a fierce storm brewing and it made my stomach twist. I quickly shifted to emptying the cart. "So, next stop that bookstore?"

"Shouldn't we take the groceries home?" Lauren looked over at the food, her scientific mind probably calculating the exact time we had before the food started to break down outside of a refrigerator.

"It's 33 degrees out, with an expected high of 45 for the day. I think the groceries will tolerate a quick side trip." I smiled as Lauren gave me a look. Yeah, she had definitely calculated.

"Actually in about one hour of not being in stable temperatures, the food begins to break down. Taste of vegetables will lessen by the hour, and overall it will affect how long they last." She sighed, closing her eyes. "Sorry, I'm ranting science, aren't I?"

I nodded, closing the hatch. "You are. I promise it'll only take a half hour total, to go to the bookstore. I'll time you, give you fifteen minutes to browse and then ten minutes for us to get home and unpack the food." I stepped closer to her, patting her shoulder. "Trust me?"

She met my eyes, her smile brightening. I had won her over with my own brand of science. "Fine." She walked to the passenger side door as I returned the cart.

I hopped in the driver's seat, starting the Tahoe when Lauren asked quickly. "Do you have a boyfriend? Or someone? Like am I taking you away from a home?" She stared at me with nervous brown eyes.

I smiled backing the Tahoe out of the space. "I just have, had, Alfred. My life can be painfully solitary at times. I don't do relationships because of the nature of my job. How could I tell a boyfriend that I'm going to be living with another man for the next two to six months? Then there's the obvious necessary lying. Telling them I'm headed to Chicago for a conference, when in reality I'm in San Diego babysitting a gross chemical engineer that can't stop staring at my boobs." I shrugged. "So no, there isn't a boyfriend. Just a huge loft with dead plants and an empty fishbowl." I frowned at how sad that sounded.

"Boyfriends, okay." She whispered it to herself and I barely caught it. I looked over to say that I was open minded and had a few boyfriends and girlfriends in my life. But I didn't. I shouldn't and I wasn't going to. It was best for Lauren to think what she thought, it would give me some space to reel in my thoughts. "I'm sorry if I'm asking personal questions, Bo."

"It's fine, Lauren. We're living together and the more we know about each other, the better we can lie to the Trudy's of the world." I smiled when that earned me a laugh. "How about you? The ex in your file, you want to fill me in on them?"

"Her. And not really." Lauren turned back to that hole in her leg she was determined to burrow into. "She didn't like that I left the science world for a simpler life. Money, fame, prestige. All things I no longer wanted as a primary focus. She left me for my retirement account manager. Last I saw, they were living the life off the Amalofi coast." Lauren shrugged slowly. "Maybe one day when this is all over, I'll find someone who can kiss me, and mean it."

She turned her head to me, smiling with watery eyes. "But I have to survive the next few weeks before I even dare to think about that." She pointed out the window. "I think this is the place."

I nodded, turning the car into the small parking lot. I went to say something to Lauren, but she hopped out of the car as soon as it was in park. I followed her, catching her wiping her eyes discreetly before taking a breath, smiling and walking into the tiny bookstore. I stood outside for a moment. "I'd kiss you Lauren, and mean it every damn time I did." I let the cold air take my words off into the wind. Where they belonged.

* * *

XXX

The small bookstore was small. Small like my first New York apartment, and lined from floor to ceiling with books old to brand new. I smiled and nodded to the old lady sitting behind an even older wooden counter, reading the paper. I cringed seeing the days headlines still filled with the president's pleas for his wife's murderer to come forward, or at least the mystery witness to it all.

I turned away, watching Lauren in her element. Running her hands over the spines of books in the science section. She had a goofy look on her face, and was the most relaxed I had seen her. She disappeared into the depths of old bookshelves, leaving me to wander on my own. I found my way in the fiction section, finding the other volumes of that historical romance I had read most of last night. I secretly wanted to read the others, and started picking up the next in the series, thumbing through it. I was lost in browsing that I didn't hear Lauren call my name. I only felt her unique warmth flow over my back and down to my hands. I went to turn around, only to bump into her in the tight space between bookshelves. She had her hands full of books. Science books, history books, and the same book I held in my hands, making me smile. She set the books down on the shelf next to her, blushing. "I get excited about books, it helps me forget about the real world." She held up the book we both had. "I found this, and picked it up for you. You're almost done with the other one." She stumbled over her words, blushing harder. "Um, about last night. I know it was a nightmare, it wasn't real. But it still scared me." Lauren swallowed harder again, licking her lips before looking up at me. "Bo, reading to me last night was the kindest thing anyone has ever done, it meant the world to me that you would do that. You don't even know me, and…"

I held my hand up, waving her off. "It's nothing, Lauren. I remembered what you said about books, and I needed to calm you down. Reading to you seemed to be the best idea." I smiled at her. "You seemed to like it, you held my hand all night." I cringed as I said it, the awkward jokester rearing her ugly head at the wrong moment. "Sorry, I meant. I think it worked."

I looked up in her brown eyes staring at me with an intensity that had me taking a step back, only to run into the bookshelf behind me. I held up the book, pointing at the cover. "This one has them doing things in France and their love is tested, and stuff. It should be a good read." I looked at the cover art, wishing for the man and woman to come and suck me into their time warp and get me the hell out of this moment. "Yeah, um. I like to read." What the hell Bo? Of all the things you can do, you go this derp route?

I went to look back at Lauren and make my escape when two warm hands fell to the sides of my face and gently pulled me closer. It took me a second to realize Lauren was kissing me, and that it felt as amazing as eating a bakers dozen of fancy doughnuts from the joint down the street. Her lips were so soft and lit a fire in me, I quickly grabbed her forearms as I felt them retreat, and kissed her back. Pushing her against the bookshelf behind her, I kissed her with a reckless fury. Not exactly a reckless fury, but it was a phrase in the book that had me wonder what it would be like to kiss with reckless fury. I felt Lauren push back, her teeth grazing my bottom lip. Her hands tangling in the back of my hair, pulling me closer, snapping out of my weird thought process to focus on the primary task in front of me. Kissing Lauren.

Oh shit. We were kissing.

I broke off the kiss panting like a wild woman. Lauren looked at me, panting and flushed. "Lauren…we."

She licked her lips, quickly dropping her hands from me and tucking them deep under her arms. "Oh god, I don't know what I'm doing." She ran a hand through her hair, looking everywhere but at me. "I couldn't help it, you looked so adorable trying to put me at ease. Oh shit, Bo. I don't know what it is about you, but I can't resist. Couldn't resist kissing you even though I'm not your type. Maybe I'm still in shock and…"

I grabbed her elbow, pulling her back to look at me. Which she wouldn't, opting to stare at the pile of books on the floor around us. "Lauren, I never told you I had a type. Just a dead goldfish boyfriend." I sighed, closing my eyes and fighting so hard, but losing the battle with my heart. "Maybe it is shock, but I don't really think that's all it is. I think….fuck I don't know what I think. All I know is that there is something brewing here. Something that that lady has written in her romance novels and I can't fight it. I've been fighting it since I first met you in that room." I dropped my hand from her elbow. "I have to keep you safe." I turned to look back towards the front of the store, the old lady still engrossed in her paper, having no clue Lauren and I just kissed against the volumes of Pride and Prejudice.

"You are, Bo. Every time you look at me, every time you smile at me, every time you tell me to stop apologizing. You're keeping me safe." Lauren smiled as tears welled up. "Through all of the mess my life is, I keep going back to the one thought that this all had to happen so I could meet you. There's something about you Bo. Something that I can't explain, but all I know is what I feel. It's the realest I have ever felt in my life. Who cares that we've only known each other for twenty four hours, you feel real to me." She shook her head. "Maybe it's PTSD." She went to turn away, making a move to pick up her stack of books.

I swallowed hard, grabbing her and pulling her towards me, kissing her gently again. I had to know. I had to know if this was shock, PTSD, a need to feel something in her hell, whatever it was. I had to know. Lauren relaxed into the kiss, kissing me back, matching me and not rushing it. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her tighter as my tongue slipped past her bottom lip. I felt light headed, dizzy, and consumed with the way she felt in my arms. I wasn't a scientist, or a mystic with the future in the palm of my hands, but I knew this was real. Whatever feelings building between us was real and it was just the timing that was horrible.

Lauren was the one to end the kiss, running her hand down the side of my face to cup my cheek. She searched my eyes with her big brown ones. Licking her lips and breathing heavily. "What happens now?"

I smiled, looking up at the ceiling. "We buy your books and head home. I fear we went over our thirty minute time limit and the porkchops are degrading at a rapid rate." I stepped away from the blonde, giving her more room. "As for the other stuff, we'll figure it out. After I eat. I need to eat before I do some heavy thinking."

Lauren laughed, pushing some hair from her face. "I understand." She bent down to pick up the stack of books, filling her arms again as I laid the book, our book, on top.

I winked at her, feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket. "Meet you up there in a second." I pulled out the phone as Lauren walked away, grinning with flushed cheeks. I was also grinning, then I opened the message from Viv.

 _-Bo, we have a problem. Cameron was up in Maine, he knows the double isn't her. He's gotten his brother to issue a presidential order to access all cameras from her to Minnesota. I'm scrubbing them. You're on camera with Lauren in that doughnut shop in Pennsylvania. He got to it before I could distort it. He's coming for you.-_

I angrily typed a message back to Viv, asking her to get a backup house ready. I would have to move Lauren within the next forty eight hours, and do it covertly. I jammed my phone in my back pocket, sucked in a breath and slapped on a smile. I would have to play it calm until we got home.

It didn't help that I had just complicated things to the nth degree.


	6. Chapter 6

N: still sick, so this is a short one that probably doesn't make any sense. But i have an idea where this is headed and how it will end. I really don't even think this story has much plot...i dunno. Enjoy!

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Lauren did most of the talking on the way back to the house. Chatting excitedly about the old botany textbook she found in the bookstore. I would nod and smile, trying to keep my mind off of Viv's message. It was easier than I thought, especially when Lauren would smile and blush at me. That smile warmed my heart, sped up my pulse, and had me wishing I could solve this situation now. Get Cameron behind bars, and maybe take Lauren to dinner at that nice all you can eat buffet a few blocks from my loft.

I glared at my stomach as I parked the Tahoe. I would have to have a healthy discussion with my doctor to figure out why I was constantly hungry. It couldn't be I was pregnant, I was pretty confident Alfred wasn't capable of doing such a thing, and he was the only man around me in months. Lauren opening her door, forced me out of my really strange trance. I would have to talk to my psychologist after I met with my doctor, find out if I had adult ADD, or some sort of after effects of being a professional liar for ten years. Either way, I was weird in the most inopportune times.

For Christ's sake, I was entertaining the idea a goldfish could have gotten me pregnant.

I let out a heavy puff of air, walked to the back of the Tahoe to help Lauren unload the groceries.

"You okay, Bo?" Lauren lifted up the bag full of meat, at least if we moved in a day, I'd never have to endure a flirting meat handler wanting man handle Lauren's meat.

I closed my eyes, shaking my head. Get it together Bo. "Yeah, I'm just thinking." I lifted up a bag full of chips, and those nuclear orange cheese poofs. "I have to call Viv in a minute. Check in." I smiled politely at Lauren, avoiding her eyes that saw right through the bullshit I was laying on thick.

She grabbed my upper arm as I turned to head through the garage door. "Bo, you furrow your brow and look like those angry muppets when you're stressed. What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Her voice lowered at the end. Uncertainty creeping in like the jerk it was.

"No, you did nothing wrong." I covered her hand on my arm. "I was chastising myself for blaming my empty pit of a stomach on a possible goldfish pregnancy." I smiled at the weird look on Lauren's face. "But I have to call Viv. She messaged me while we were in the bookstore, Cameron had his all mighty brother give him access to the traffic camera system." I paused, watching Lauren's face turn pale.

"Oh god, he knows where we are." She swallowed hard and stepped back. "And I'm distracting you by telling you my feelings and kissing you." She shook her head, the ever present fear quickly erasing what had become my favorite face of Lauren. The happy, relaxed one.

I held onto her hand, pulling it close to my chest. "Lauren. You're not doing anything. I need to talk to Viv and figure a few things out. Cameron knows where we were, but doesn't know where we are. I don't exist in his world, or the president's. I won't even exist in yours if you go looking for me when this is done." I looked down at her hand, noticing how slender and elegant her fingers were. How they would probably fit perfectly with mine. I squeezed my eyes shut, cursing my willy nilly mind. "I did complicate things, but I can figure it out. I've never been this close to one of my shadows." I whispered the words. "But, I can do this right. I can keep that bastard away from you."

"Bo." I felt her hand move, sliding her fingers into mine. They did fit perfectly in mine, making my soul ache at what this meant. "Go call Viv, get your work done. I'll be inside. Then we can, need to, talk." She squeezed my hand before pulling it free and taking the bag I held. She offered a sad smile, then disappeared back into the house.

I yanked out my phone, dialed Viv, and began pacing around the square perimeter of the garage.

"Bo. You got my message." Viv spoke quickly, but calmly. This was a good sign.

"I did. Talk to me." I chewed on the inside of my cheek, cursing everything I could. This case, the president, the president's brother, the garbage can over in the corner, and even Trudy next door. Fiddle fucking around with her hair and waving at me. I waved back, flipping her the bird the moment her back was turned to me.

"Good news. Cameron is searching Pennsylvania. He somehow got a list of the safe houses and is searching those. Good news part two, that list he has is twenty years old and he'll be on a trap house hunt for a few days. Bad news. President pervy has reached out to the CIA director for help. In a few days time, he will have an updated list of safe houses used by the CIA. You have maybe forty eight hours to make a move. In the meant time, I want you to stay in that house. It's our newest one. It's a literal fortress and it'll be easier for me to monitor from the outside." Viv was calm, which was keeping me calm. This wasn't so bad, I had been in worse pickles before.

"Okay, good." I blew out a breath, reaching into the one bag Lauren didn't take, and pulled out a bag of candy fish. I tore open the bag and start throwing handfuls in my mouth. "Viv, how close are we to nailing down evidence for the DA of the DOJ? How fast can we get a warrant and Lauren extradited to testify?" I chomped angrily while pacing.

"Um, Bo. What did you do?" Viv had that one tone in her voice. The one that she used when she was reading one of my tells. God bless her for being the best body language and forensic vocal expert out there, even if I hated when she read my angry chewing and knew what I had done.

"Viv. Shit. Fuck. Fucker shit fuck." I threw another handful of gummy fish in my mouth. "Fine. You remember that case four years ago? The hot computer engineer I had to watch for three months while the government investigated his company for international espionage?"

"I do. I also remember you dating the egotistical nerd for six months after. You told me the tension between the two of you was incredible. The chemistry magical, and you almost exploded until the last day of his testimony. I do believe you told me you guys made out in the bathroom in the basement of the FBI building." Viv chuckled, then paused. "What did you do with Lauren?"

I frowned, chewing candy fish so hard, I thought my jaw would snap. "I kissed her. Viv, I like her. Like I like her like the mystical fabled heavens opened up and floated her down on a cotton candy rainbow. Offering her to my heart to be the one who will save my soul."

"Did you just quote Jewel?" Viv chuckled.

"Shut up. Can you also make an appointment to Dr. Adams and Dr. Larchmont. I need to see them ASAP when this case is done. I have to address a few things." I paced harder, throwing the empty candy bag in the trash. "I just ate a pound of candy in three minutes." I sighed. "Viv, what do I do? I've never compromised a case like this, I've never crossed the line until it was done."

Viv hummed. "Well, if it makes you feel better, I saw this coming. When you two made eye contact right before Lauren hugged you. It was like lightning struck between you two. The tiny little bolts of energy transferred between your eyes. I'd never seen you so you, Bo. The wall you lived behind fell away for her, and Lauren walked right in. To be fair, the same happened in her eyes. It was fairly magical." Viv sighed. "Here's what you're going to do. You're going to do your job like you only know how, and I will keep tabs on movement. I can push the tech crew to tighten up the footage and I should get it in the hands of the DOJ in a day or two. In the meantime, stay in that house. Stress eat, relax, and be ready to move the second I tell you."

I nodded, finally stopping in front of the garage door. "Okay. I can do this." I paused. "Viv, why didn't you tell me what you saw when I left New York city?"

"Because, falling in love is an adventure everyone needs to take alone. It'd be no fun if I told you." Viv laughed. "It's nice to see you this way, Bo. Granted it's a shitty situation, but I can see the stupid grin on your face, and can only imagine what weird shit is coming out of your mouth when you talk to Lauren."

I closed my eyes. "It's bad, Viv. I ranted for a solid thirty seconds about Alfred getting me pregnant." I huffed as Viv whistled on the other end. "Anyways, I have to go inside and get Lauren updated."

I hung up with Viv, grabbed the last bag and headed inside.

Lauren was in the kitchen, standing solemnly unwrapping the pork chops. I smiled and set the bag on the counter. "Okay, here's what's happening. Cameron is searching old safe houses we don't use anymore. Viv and the tech team are compiling the footage from the alley and should have a warrant issued in a day or two. After that, I'll get the word on where to take you. Until then, we stay inside this house and try to relax." I went to reach for her hand, when she stepped away. "Lauren, everything is okay. I have a handle on this." I smiled. "I think we should eat dinner while watching our favorite sitcom. Then maybe you can tell me more about those old books you found."

"What did you mean you won't exist in my life when this is over, and I try to find you?" Lauren glanced at me with angry sad eyes.

"I uh. It's um." I laid my hand on the counter, looking hard at the pork. "I don't exist in any database. Bo Dennis works for the CIA. This is true. She lives over in Brooklyn in an apartment with an empty fishbowl. Bo Dennis is a cover that doesn't exist in the databases anyone would ever have access to. You could google that name, run it through any law enforcement search engine, and you would come up with a 90 year old war veteran living in Phoenix, Arizona." I frowned. "I don't exist for the reason I can't ever have anyone find me. It's my job."

Lauren turned to glare at me, cutting me off. "I get that, I do. But why do you make it seem like this is thing between us is born out of fear, adrenaline, and need to feel something in a panicked situation? Do you think I would kiss anyone in a dusty old bookstore and not mean it?" Her voice was rising. "I don't, Bo. I'm not that kind of woman. I surprised myself when I kissed you, but did I regret it? No." She turned back to the pork chops. "Then you say what you did, and I wonder if I've made a huge mistake. Trusting you with a piece of me."

"My real name is Ysabeau McCorrigan. I was born on July 6th, 1978. My father David Alfred Dennis is the only other person who knows that I moved my true identity to my mother's maiden name. A choice I made when I signed up to be a shadow agent. Even Viv has no idea of my real name and birthday. She thinks my birthday is four days from now, and it confuses her since I act more like a cancer than I do a Virgo." I looked at the blonde, my eyes welling up as I continued. I was driven to earn her trust now, driven to earn her love and never have her doubt she had mine. "I went to college for modern anthropology, I love how humans evolve and shape the world. I was innocent and fell in love with a journalism student named Kiera. I thought it was love, I was wrong. She left me for her editor and I think they are happily married and settled down in Michigan." I desperately wanted another pound of candy fish to stress eat, but I settled for nervously picking at the plastic wrap. "Viv met me at a job fair three days after my heartbreak. Sold me the CIA song of adventure, mystery, and living a life where I could disappear. So I took it. I disappeared and here I am now, ten years later and standing in front of the first case where I stepped over lines, and see that the love I thought I was in, is nothing like what I feel for you, Lauren."

I kept angrily poking holes into the plastic. "I'm perfect in my job as Bo, I'm not perfect at being Ysabeau." I smiled tightly, pushing the pork chops away. "I'm going down to the basement to work on a few things. Call me if you need me." I turned away, wiping away the tears that escaped. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel unworthy, or just a moment of weakness."

I tucked my arms against my chest, taking a step out of the kitchen when I heard.

"Can I ask one thing, Bo?" Lauren's voice trembled.

I nodded with my back turned to her. "Sure."

"Look at me please?"

I sighed, and slowly turned around. Wiping my face one more time so the tears wouldn't be so evident. I smiled, shrugging. "Okay?"

Lauren met my eyes and walked over to me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let my thoughts run rampant amongst your rambling words." She cocked an eyebrow. "I do want to know more about the goldfish pregnancy."

I rolled my eyes, sniffling. "That's number six, you're capped out on apologies, Lauren. I eat a lot, pregnancy cravings was the only thing I could think of." I scrunched my face up. "Never mind. It's gets weirder the more I talk about."

Lauren kept walking towards me, my heart racing the closer she got. She reached up, sliding both of her hands across my face, holding me still so she looked in my eyes. "I'm going to kiss you, Ysabeau, but I want to know one thing before I do."

My heart dropped, in a good way, when she spoke my name, and pronounced it correctly. "What's that?"

She smiled, running her thumb lightly under my bottom lip. "When this is over, we find each other. We find each other, and make damn sure we exist in this world together." She looked down at my lips. "I never believed in love at first sight, but you seem eager to disprove that theory every time you look at me." She bent forward, brushing her lips across mine.

"I promise." I whispered the words out before closing the small distance between us. Kissing Lauren slowly and softly. Losing myself in the sense of perfection I felt when she was this close to me. She was unlike anyone I'd ever met, and I would search heaven and hell to find her the second we were separated.

After a solid minute of kissing, Lauren parted, leaning back and licking her lips. She opened her eyes, smiling at me. "I've never kissed anyone like you. You're really good at kissing."

I grinned sheepishly tipping my head down. "Alfred says the same thing." I looked up, catching the strange look on Lauren's face, and burst out laughing. I leaned into her, wrapping her up in my arms. "I'm kidding. Although the last person I did kiss, had fish lips."

Lauren poked me in the ribs, leaning back to kiss me on the cheek before moving away. "You do have a strange sense of humor." She lifted the pork chops. "Let's get you fed before your stomach complains more." Lauren walked over to the stove, turning on the burner as she spoke. "Then when we're done, I want you to take my testimony. In case, something happens."

My grin faded. "Nothing will happen, Lauren."

She nodded, looking my way. "I know, but I also know Cameron and the President. They don't give up easily. I want to make sure that whatever happens, they see the justice they deserve. Plus, maybe if you send my testimony to Viv by morning, it might pressure the DA to issue that warrant."

I swallowed hard, letting the sound of Lauren cooking take over. There was something in the tone of her voice that told me I needed to keep Cameron as far as I could away from her. I had heard things about him, and hearing Lauren confirm it, had me worried. Worried about breaking promises.


	7. Chapter 7

N: i have no idea what this chapter is. Just a stupid filler as i get to the end. This will probably be wrapping up in a chapter or two. Thankfully, as it's such a mess. But, read on and enjoy as i take a nap.

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"I, Lauren Lewis, swear with sound mind, that this is the true events of night the first lady was murdered. It was her brother in law, Cameron Carlisle. I clearly saw him shoot and kill Barbara. I was the only survivor." Lauren kept her head down as she sat next to me on the couch. She tore at the worn tissue in her hands, sniffling as I typed on the laptop. Recording this testimony in an official capacity.

I cleared my throat. I had sat for the last hour, listening and fighting emotions. Lauren had started from the top of how she met the first lady. Their friendship, and how she came to be in that alley on that horrible night. I typed, fighting the urge to throw the laptop on the ground and rush out to meet Cameron head on. Square off with him, and make sure he never touched Lauren. I looked up at the woman, tears slowly running down her cheek. "We're almost done. I just need you to tell me about how he threatened you, and how Randy saved you."

Lauren nodded, sniffling and leaning back into the couch. Our empty dinner plates were spread out across the coffee table, hers still had half of the food she made, while mine was clean. It had me worried that she wasn't eating still. I would have to try to use some of my tricks to get her to eat more than a few bites. "After Cameron shot Barb, he heard me yell. He spun around and pointed the still smoking gun at my head. I could see his finger pull back the trigger. I prepared for the shot, and closed my eyes. I heard the shot at the same time I was shoved to the ground. Randy was on top of me, pressing me into the cold, wet ground. He yelled back, scrambling for his own gun when Cameron fired four more times." She paused, ripping a hole in her tissue before dropping it on the table. Her hands shook as she began to clean up the mess in front of her on the table. "I think Cameron thought he got me and Randy. I heard him run away and get into a car in the distance. After that, I freed myself from Randy's dead body and ran to the end of the alley." She glanced my way, her eyes red and tired. "The rest you know. I was picked up and taken to your office."

I nodded, swallowing hard and typing the last few words into her statement. "I think we're done. I will send this to Viv. She will get it into the right hands by morning." I closed up the laptop after sending the email. I reached over, gently grabbing the plates from in front of Lauren. "I got this, take a few minutes and relax."

Lauren kept her eyes down, nodding. "Thank you."

I sighed, picking up the plates and her tissue, and walked into the kitchen. I had a half notion to eat the food on her plate, but opted against it. It was cold, and I really needed to reign in this intense appetite. "I have that pumpkin pie we got earlier, I can heat up a slice if you would like?" I called out to the living room.

I saw Lauren's head shake as she slowly stood up from the couch. She was huddled up, her arms tucked across her chest and it looked like she was shivering. "Bo, please testify in my place that my statement you took is the truth."

I set the plates in the dishwasher, looking over at the distraught woman. My stomach dropped at her words and their implications. "Lauren, I told you, you will meet with the DA when we get the testimony in her hands. Then we will get you back to the city while Cameron and his brother go to prison." I wiped my hands on a towel. "I don't like the tone in your voice. It sounds like you're giving into the fear he's going to find us."

Lauren looked up at me slowly. Her eyes filled with defeat. "Because he's going to find me. He's already so close to finding us. I know Cameron, I know the type of man he and his brother are. They will find me, kill me and be free to continue on. At least if you have the statement, maybe the truth can be heard." She shrugged. "I know you're the best, Bo. But there will come a time when you're not around to keep me safe, and they'll get in. Whether it's a few days from now, or years down the road. They will find me." She wiped at her cheeks. "It's the same reason why Barb couldn't leave him. She knew he'd just kill her, so she tried to sweep him back into her bed. It was better to live in misery than die."

My jaw clenched. "Lauren, no. That's not true. Cameron will be locked away for the end of his life, sitting in a cell next to his brother." I walked towards Lauren, running my hands over her cold skin. "There will never be a time that I won't be there. Keeping you safe." I moved a hand to her chin, lifting her head to look in my eyes. "Weren't you the one who made me promise that when this was done, we find each other?"

Lauren smiled weakly. "That's before Cameron found the video footage. He's going to kill you too, Bo." She crinkled her face up, tears filling her brown eyes. "Is it too soon to confess that I can't imagine a world without you in it?"

I rolled my eyes, reaching up to wipe the tears with my thumb. "Maybe, you haven't met Alfred yet, or experienced me hangry. A hangry Bo is not a pretty sight." I let out a sigh of relief when the stupid joke made Lauren smile. "Cameron can try to get close to me, I wish him luck. Because the moment he is standing in front of me and makes one twitch of a finger to harm me, or you. He won't survive it." I pulled at Lauren's arms, uncrossing them so I could bring her into my body heat. "You're cold."

"I'm scared." Lauren whispered, burying her face into the crook of my neck.

Rubbing my hands up and down her back, I kept my thoughts in check. Moving away from how I could pull every one of his fingernails out in the slowest, most painful way, and towards taking care of this woman I was falling for. "How about you go take a hot shower while I finish cleaning up, I will get us a big slice of pie and we can sit in your bed. Watch a movie, talk about your science books, and maybe you can explain if it is possible for a fish to get a grown woman pregnant."

Lauren laughed softly in my arms. She leaned back, looking tired, but better. "Bo, I can tell you for sure, fish and humans aren't sexually compatible. I don't think there's a scientist in this world that would dare to cross breed the two." She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "Can we go to your room? I have bad dreams in mine."

I nodded. "Of course." I smiled as she kissed my cheek and walked out of my arms. I watched her trudge up the stairs slowly. The woman was constantly exhausted and it broke my heart, craving for a day that I could see a vibrant Lauren Lewis.

Before cleaning up the rest of the dinner, I made a quick call on my back up cell phone. A cheap pay as you go that only two people had the phone number. After a few minutes of speaking with the man on the other end, I had a plan. It was risky as hell, but it would get Lauren completely off the radar and in a place where I could fully protect her. Protect to the end of the world if need be.

* * *

XXXX

I was already in my room, fiddling with the TV trying to find a good movie to watch, when Lauren came in from the bathroom. Her hair was wet, hanging limply around her shoulders. She had the soft pink glow that came from taking a boiling hot shower, and it only added to her overall beauty. The woman was gorgeous dirty, tired, or fresh out of the shower. I turned away quickly before she caught me staring. "I uh, brought up the pie." I waved to the edge of the bed where the two plates sat. One was filled with a normal human sized piece, the other basically held the other three quarters of the pie. I was still hungry and pumpkin pie was my favorite.

Lauren smirked, running a hand over her hair. "Let me guess which one is mine. " She gave me a look, making me blush. She shook her head, moving to where the two plates sat. "You have more whipped cream than I do."

I pointed to the desk in the corner. "There's more in that can over there. I empty the first one downstairs."

Lauren laughed again. "I would like to study you, Bo. I've never met anyone with the appetite capacity you have."

I shrugged. "I guess I'm still in a growth spurt." I smiled when I found a good old movie on the streaming service. "Ghostbusters?"

Lauren looked at the TV, nodding. "Perfect."

I handed her the remote and walked past her. "Get comfortable, I have to change into my pjammies." I bent down to pull out the trusty old shirt and sleep pants I brought from home.

"Pjammies?" Lauren glanced at me, holding the smaller piece of pie. "Did you just say pjammies?"

I frowned. "Yes, is there something wrong with that? I couldn't say pajamas when I was little, so my grandma taught me to say pjammies. It stuck." I playfully squinted at her. "I'm still a tough, mean agent."

Lauren smiled, taking a bite of her pie. "This I know."

I shook my head at the tone of her voice. "Careful Ms. Lewis, or I will use my interrogation techniques to pull out some of your embarrassing secrets." I turned and headed into the bathroom to change.

When I came back out, Lauren was under the blankets, finishing off the pie. I smiled, it was nice to see her eat. "Was it good?"

She smiled, setting the empty plate on the bedside table. "It was. I might steal some of yours."

I rushed to the edge of the bed, scooping up my plate protectively. "Never." I climbed into the bed, crossing my legs. I went to take a bite, when I looked up to see Lauren staring at me. "What? Do I have something on my face."

She shook her head, pointing at my shirt. "I was staring at your pjammies. That shirts, um, a little old, isn't it?"

I looked down at it. "Yeah, it's from college. I wear it every night. It once had the top gun logo on it." I kept inspecting my shirt, trying to figure out what was so weird. "What's wrong with it?"

Lauren looked at me, her cheeks pink. "It's kind of see through, Bo." She waved her hand nervously in the air between. "I could, um, see things when you came into the room." She smiled, closing her eyes. "I'm sorry, but I just. Ugh, I um." She scrunched her face up in embarrassment.

I chuckled, pulling the blanket up over my chest. "They're just boobs, Lauren. We both got 'em." I poked into the pie, shoving a huge chunk into my mouth. I focused on eating, not the nagging voice in the back of my head that was telling me to stop being the oblivious eating machine I could be, and pay attention to something else. But man, this was a good pie.

"You're beautiful, Bo." Lauren spoke so softly, I almost missed it.

I turned to look at her, my mouth packed full of a half pie. "What did you say?"

Lauren was looking at the ceiling, her cheeks a bright red. "I said, you're beautiful. All of you, well, all that I've sneaked a peek at like a teenage boy through your see through shirt." She covered her face with her hands. Groaning as she made a move to get out of the bed. "I should go to my room and read."

She went to roll out of the bed, when I grabbed her arm, stopping her. I finished swallowing the food in my mouth. "Lauren, don't leave."

She slowly looked back at me, her eyes conflicted. "Bo…I…"

I shook my head, setting the plate of food on my lap. "I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to pounce on you like a cheap romantic movie. As much as I would like to, because you're equally as beautiful, stunning, and I've only seen you in baggy sweats and perfect fitting yoga pants." I grinned to ease the tension. "All I want is for you to stay in this bed with me, share some of this pie, watch a movie with me, and maybe tell me a few things about yourself." I tugged her arm harder. "I'll stay covered up."

She rolled her eyes, swinging back into the bed next to me. "I feel silly." She reached for my fork, taking a bite off my plate. "I have never met anyone like you, Bo. You have me feeling so many things. Things that are amplified by our situation. I know sexual desire is a chemical reaction when some is under duress, but I know that we're nothing more than close friends right now."

"Lauren, I cannot wait for the day that I have all the time in the world, to slowly explore how beautiful you are under those clothes. Take hours to map out the way your skin smells, tastes, feels under my hands. To show you how you make me feel when you look in my eyes and smile." I smiled at the look in her eyes as I continued. "But you're right, we're in a situation. But I'm also old fashioned when it comes to someone I really like. I want to take time, romance you. Learn who you are, and fall in love with you the right way. We might have just met three days ago, but I want to spend three million more with you." I shrugged, looking down at my pie, suddenly embarrassed by my boldness. "I've never met anyone like you, Lauren, and I want to do this right." I sighed, moving to get out of the bed and put a sweatshirt over the shirt I was wearing. I smirked, trying to ease the tension. "Who knew pjammies would be so scandalous?"

I crawled back into the bed, returning to my plate when Lauren gently grabbed me and kissed me. Kissed me like I had never been kissed before in my life. It wasn't a kiss that would lead to other things, it was a sealing kiss. A kiss that sealed our fate.

Lauren parted, leaning her forehead against mine. "I love Hall and Oates."

I blinked through the hazy fog her kiss left me in. "Huh?"

Lauren smiled, kissing the tip of my nose. "I love Hall and Oates, the band. It's something from my childhood. Road trips with my parents. The car windows down, and the radio blaring the Hall and Oates tapes my dad loved. They're my favorite in the whole world. My apartment is filled with Hall and Oates memorabilia and I dressed up as Oates last Halloween. Big bushy mustache and all." Lauren smiled, looking in my eyes with her clear brown ones. "Bo, I want to do this right too." She rolled her eyes. "Granted, the speech about wanting to touch every inch of me, didn't do anything to calm down my libido. But the rest of it, I want it too, Bo. I don't want to waste whatever this is between us. I want it to last after the fear is gone, and I'm left with you and your goldfish ex boyfriend."

I smiled, leaning over to kiss her softly. "Ex boyfriend? Who said I was going to break up with Alfred? He's my forever, forevers?" I scrunched my face up. "What is the plural for forever?"

Lauren laughed, dropping her hands from my face to lay down next to me. She curled up into my side as I finished eating. "It's forevers, Bo." She sighed, laying her hand on my stomach.

I continued eating, watching the movie with Lauren. She would laugh at the same parts I did, but eventually she fell asleep. Her head over my heart and an arm wrapped possessively around me. I kissed the top of her head and whispered softly. "I hope my dad likes you when you meet him tomorrow."

I snuggled deeper into the pillows, moving Lauren into a more comfortable position as I watched more movies. Idly thinking about the plan I would be setting into motion the second we both woke up. I smirked at the thought of finally flipping Trudy off as we sped away.

I had made the decisions to pull Lauren off the grid completely and take her to my dad's ranch. A place no one hunting us, would know existed. It was the only thing I could think of to keep the woman I was falling in love with, safe.


	8. Chapter 8

**N: the reason i haven't updated is due to a significant illness that almost took me out and turned your copies of my books into collector's items. So please, don't leave constant reviews about updates, if i'm missing for awhile, chances are there's a hearty reason why. With that, enjoy this whatever update i wrote while listening to the new Lady Gaga. It's not good and doesn't go anywhere but the road to the ranch. This story will be tied up in a chapter or two soon. Read on and enjoy this nonsense!**

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I was having a really great dream. There were goldfish in bowls, alive in bowls, all around my loft. My loft was clean, bright, and full of life. Even my dream kitchen was filled with candy fish and my favorite cereal. I smiled as I walked around the clean loft, carrying a huge bowl of cereal. Even my bedroom was clean. The bed covered in white sheets that smelled fresh. I crawled onto the bed, careful not to spill the cereal. The bed swallowed me up in fluffy clouds of heaven, I laid back against the pillow and sighed in delight. This was perfect.

The next thing I knew I closed my eyes, smiling, drifting off as I clutched to a pillow. The pillow was so very warm, perfect and I clutched it closer.

"Bo?"

I scrunched my face up, hearing my name. "Five more minutes. I just got into bed." I burrowed my face deeper into the pillow. Maybe if I pretended to be out, the voice would piss off.

"Bo."

The voice was closer, softer. I groaned, trying to pull the pillow over my face when I felt fingers run through my hair. "Bo, you're pinching me."

That's when the voice registered. It was Lauren.

My eyes flicked open to find the bright room gone, replaced by darkness. I frowned and rubbed my cheek against what I thought was a pillow. I looked down in horror realizing the pillow I had been manhandling was actually Lauren's boob. My hand wrapped around it like it was mine. I shot straight up and shifted back from Lauren. I glanced at her, she was laughing at me and moving to get out of the bed. "I uh, uhhh." I ran both hands through my messy hair. "I don't have a good excuse, reason for that." I waved an awkward hand around.

Lauren shook her head as she stood up. "It's fine. I woke up an hour ago with you like that. I didn't have the heart to wake you up until you started trying to pull it off of me." She grinned at the horrified look on my face. "It's okay, Bo." She leaned across the bed, kissing me softly, murmuring against my lips. "Red cheeks look good on you." She leaned away, grabbing the sweatshirt I discarded in my sleep. "I'll go make breakfast." Lauren cast a side glance my way that had my heart skipping. "Cereal in the living room?"

I nodded, utterly embarrassed and wanting to run and hide under the covers. "Yup." I picked at the covers, keeping my head down. "I'm going to go shower. Then I have to go over the new plan with you."

Lauren paused at the doorway. "New plan?"

"I'm moving you off the grid." I swung my legs out of the bed, immediately covering my chest, remembering that my shirt was see through. "It's all worked out. I made a few calls last night and as soon as you ready, we'll hit the road." I smiled softly. "Don't worry, where we're going, no one would dare to think to look."

I could see Lauren swallow hard, her nerves fraying right in front of me. "Okay." She stared in my eyes for a moment longer before walking out of the bedroom.

When she was gone, I let out a huge sigh mixed with a groan and stomped to the bathroom. One look in the bathroom and I was beyond embarrassed. I had marks from Lauren's shirt imprinted on my cheek, telling me I used her as a pillow for most of the night. Starting the shower, I berated myself for being such a creep. It was the last thing Lauren needed, me sleep fondling her. "Tonight, separate beds for sure. Or the floor." I frowned again thinking about sleeping in a bed without Lauren in it, I already had grown attached to her warmth and the way she looked asleep. So very much at peace and beautiful.

I climbed into the scalding hot water. "Reign it in Bo, before pops sees you and calls you out on falling in love like I promised him I never would again." I let the hot water pound away at my red cheeks, replacing the embarrassment with sheer heat and steam.

* * *

XXX

When I came downstairs, Lauren was dressed sitting on the couch with the television on. She was watching the news and I could see how pale she was as the president continued his pleas for information on the murder of his wife. I walked around the couch, scooping up the remote and changed the channel to cartoons. "Lauren."

"Where are we going?" She kept her eyes on the giant mixing bowl sitting next to the box of cereal. She already knew me way too well.

I let out a slow sigh and crouched down in front of her, placing my hands on her knees. "I'm taking you to the bakery down the street. I know you like fresh doughnuts."

Lauren looked up, confused. "Bo? I don't. I thought you were…."

I placed my finger over my lips, winking at her. "I had a weird dream, I was dreaming of work and I think I was still asleep when I spoke." I took her hand and stood up, silently asking her to stand up with me. "Is there any leftover pie in the fridge?" I motioned for her to follow me.

Lauren still glared at me with confusion that was quickly firing up her temper. "You ate it all last night."

I shrugged as I guided her into the kitchen. "I thought I bought two." I dropped her hand as we walked into the kitchen. I walked towards the island, digging in a drawer for a piece of paper and a pen. "When we go out for groceries, remind me to get two more. They were really good." I scribbled quickly, looking up at Lauren as I slid the piece of paper across to her. "I want to go to the pet store by that bookstore. I feel weird, I haven't had a goldfish funeral in almost a week."

The blonde picked up the note, reading it quickly before looking up at me with wide eyes. "I understand. You, uh, miss your boyfriends." She set the note down, grabbing the pen and writing underneath my plan. "You did seem out of it this morning when you woke up. I think you were in a sugar coma from all the pie you ate." She slid the note back.

There were only three words under mine.

"I trust you."

I grinned, crumpling up the note and turning the stove on to light the paper on fire. I watched it burn for a second before dropping it into the sink. "You ready? I'm starving and could go for a dozen or two."

Lauren nodded nervously. "I just have to grab my wallet." She ran upstairs while I collect a few things that I would need for the trip. I left the laptop, knowing it had it's own tracking software built in. I trusted Viv and the people I worked with, but by default they were far too tied into the president and his brother. If I was taking Lauren off the grid, I would have to do this the old fashioned way. I also set my cell phone on top of the laptop, I would use the burner phone I had last night.

Lauren rushed down the stairs five minutes later, a backpack and a small duffel back in her hands. "I'm all set." She smiled nervously at me as I took the bags from her.

"Perfect. Let's hit the road before I gnaw my arm off in starvation." I winked at her and lead the way to the garage.

* * *

 **Four hours later-**

"Bo, how did you do this?" Lauren was looking around the old Chevy pickup I bought with cash from the old dealership down the block from the bakery. I had done the deal while Lauren was actually in the bakery getting that two dozen I needed.

I kept my eyes on the road ahead of us. "I always have a plan B. A plan that no one knows about. I always carry cash, burner phones, and everything else I would need in case I have to disappear." I shifted in the old leather seat. "It's tricks my dad taught me when I was growing up." I tapped on the steering wheel. "I had to do something, knowing how close Cameron was, and the only thing I could think of was to go home. A place no one who knows me, knows exists." I glanced at Lauren, cradling the cup of coffee I got her at the last gas station ten miles back. I had ditched the car in the bakery parking lot, loaded Lauren and the doughnuts up into the old red Chevy pick up truck that only had one farmer owner since it rolled off the factory floor. It was almost romantic if it wasn't for the reality bearing down on us. I had left everything traceable back at the house and went back to the old ways of doing things.

"But won't Viv notice?" She picked at the lid.

"She won't for a while." I reached over, grabbing her hand and pulling it from the cup so I could slide my fingers in hers. "I reprogrammed the car GPS to show us on a loop for the next forty eight hours. It will have us going back to the house and then to a few random spots. Viv won't immediately notice since I'm notorious for sitting in the house for a least a week before I start moving more." I squeezed her hand, trying to get her to relax. "I normally go weeks without talking to anyone at the office, it's how I disappear. It also keeps them safe in case they're compromised and forced to spill where I am. They can honestly say they don't know."

I smiled, running my thumb over her knuckles. "Just so you know, because I know you're about to say it. I've never, ever, taken anyone to my pops ranch. Not even when it got bad with a shadow, I always opted to stand and fight." I turned my eyes back to the road. "I just couldn't risk it with you, this time."

I felt Lauren squeeze back. "Bo, when this is all done, can I take you to dinner?"

I cocked an eyebrow, looking back over at her. "Are you asking me out? Even after I used your breast as a pillow all night?" She nodded sheepishly. I winked at her. "Take me to a buffet, I'd hate for you to go broke on a dinner date."

The blonde laughed, like really honestly laughed, and it made my heart want to explode tiny little hearts all over the cab of this old farmers truck. "A buffet it is, Bo." She smiled, looking in my eyes. "Thank you." The look in her eyes bore right to my heart, a quiet voice, the same one that always told me to stop eating so much, whispered a few things. Things that it noticed in the way Lauren looked at me. The way I had seen a thousand times when I was wishing for love to come my way. It was the look I had seen in my parents, my grandparents, and even Viv's boyfriend's eyes. It grabbed onto my heart and squeezed it like a half empty ketchup bottle. It wanted to force something to the surface I need to pay attention to.

I swallowed hard, fighting the words that suddenly wanted to come out when I looked in the brown eyes of the woman I had fallen in love with overnight. "Yup." I cringed at my awkwardness, dropped her hand and snatched up the white bakery bag sitting in between us. I proceeded to shove a strawberry glazed into my mouth, hoping it would clear away some of the strange, yet wonderful, tension in the car.

A moment passed before Lauren spoke. "So, what's your father like?"

I appreciated Lauren's keen sense of picking up when I was making things awkward, not that I did a good job of keeping it subtle, but I welcomed the change in topic. "Do you know who Sam Eliot is?"

"I've seen a few of his movies on rainy Sunday afternoons." She smirked. "Does he have the mustache?"

I nodded. "Indeed he does." I grabbed another doughnut. "Why don't you get some sleep, we have a ways to go."

"I'm not tired." Lauren spoke softly. "Will you, will you just talk to me? The sound of your voice keeps me calm." She tipped her head down, embarrassed.

I chuckled, speaking around a mouth crammed with doughnut. "Now we're even." I took a sip of coffee as Lauren gave me a look. I waved a hand around her rosy cheeks. "You're equally as embarrassed as I was when I woke up this morning. You know, boob pillow."

Lauren laughed, shaking her head. "You shouldn't be embarrassed, I didn't mind it. I actually liked it. Well, I mean I liked that you feel so comfortable with me that you are okay using my body as a mattress." She turned to look out the window. "I've missed that feeling."

"Which feeling? Someone smothering you in your sleep?" I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, the napkins were too far out of reach. Good lord I was a bit of a slob.

"The feeling of having someone. The feeling of being comfortable, trusted, lo…cared for." Lauren handed me a napkin. "It's been a few years. Lonely years." She sighed, shaking her head. "Never mind my melancholy ways, this whole situation has me looking far too deep inside and the things I've ignored. The relationships I've had, the love I thought I was in."

I wiped my face with the napkin, before balling it up and throwing it in the bag. I picked up on her almost slip and it freaked me out. It was clear the road Lauren and I were heading down, but right now was the shittiest time known to man. She was being hunted, I was her protector, risking everything by taking her off the grid, and who even knew if when this was all over if her feelings were going to be the same. "It happens." Jesus Bo, take an etiquette class, or at least learn from one of the social experts in the office on how to handle awkward moments like this. "I mean, stress and things leads to overall examination of ones life. I remember when Alfred the second died, I wondered if I was just not meant to have a pet. I want a dog, one day, a big fluffy floof of a dog, but if I can't keep a goldfish alive, how will a dog do under my care? Shit, I can't even keep a relationship alive after the third date and the awkward morning after. I've only been in love like three times, and it's always ended up me crying and watching Saving Private Ryan to feel better about my life."

I absently grabbed another doughnut, noting that the third person was sitting next to me, and held it up in the air. "Then there's this. The eating. Where did it come from and why do I always fall back on it in every situation? Where did I get this magic metabolism that keeps me thin but hungry like I'm a 17 year old linebacker playing in the game of his life." I glanced at Lauren, chuckling nervously at the way she was looking at me. "I mean on top of my weird job as the cherry on top, who would honestly want to be with a girl like me? These are the things I think about when I'm stressed, depressed, so you're not the only…"

"I would, Bo. I want to be with you." She was staring right at me with an intensity that told me she was not bullshitting me. "I would feed the dog, but he'd always like you better than me. I'd be the other half that you needed to survive, buy all the doughnuts in the world to keep you happy, and would wait weeks for you to come home. Knowing that you were coming home to me at the end of the day, ready to crawl into bed with your see through shirt and use my breasts as a pillow." She swallowed hard, licking her lips. "I know you'll think that I'm saying this out of a stressful situation, but Bo, I have fallen in love with you and all of your quirky ways."

She sighed softly. "I can see it, feel it and I know when this is over, I will only love you a thousand times more, because I won't be scared that I might not be there. That'll Cameron will find me, and there won't be a single thing we can do to stop him." She blinked, a tear slipping free. "I love you, Bo. I know it's been three days at best since you've been in my life, but I feel it and I can't talk myself out of it. No matter how hard I try, it all comes back to the way you look at me, hold me, and protect me. I love you and I needed to say it before it's too late." She wiped at her cheeks, reaching for a napkin. "I'm sorry if I made things awkward, I've never spoken my mind, or my heart in my life. It's left me with regret, and I no longer want to live however long I have left in regret. I don't expect you, or want you to return my sentiment." She nodded absently. "It's okay."

I stared at Lauren, my mouth hanging slightly open. I turned back to the road and did the only thing I could think of. Cram another chunk of food in my mouth and think as I aggressively chewed. I glanced at Lauren, who was looking down at the crinkled napkin in her hands. I wanted to tell her I loved her too, that I felt the same she did, but I couldn't. I had one rule that I never broke, I never made promises I wasn't sure I could keep. With Cameron as close as he was, I couldn't tell Lauren I also loved her, hopelessly stupidly in love with her. Because I knew I would sacrifice my life to keep her alive, and when I gave her my love, I wanted to be alive to spend the rest of my days with her. And that wasn't a solid reality I saw at this moment in time.

I turned back to the road and drove in silence. Letting my heart break apart in silence as Lauren sniffled silently next to me.

I had no idea how the next few days would pan out, but I did know that one way or another, Cameron would face justice. Even if it was the mountain justice my father lived by, the one where you didn't live long enough to see a jail cell.


	9. Chapter 9

**N: one more after this and it's done. I did something a little different than my normal ways, but who knows how i worked out. There will be one more chapter down the road as i think of how i want to tie this all up, so be patient. With that, read on and enjoy! Also check out my books on amazon under Sydney Gibson, they are free on Kindle unlimited in Australia now! FREE BOOKS ARE AMAZING! ok, enjoy!**

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The night sky was clear, and full of stars. There was nothing to for the stars to hide in the big open land that was my father's ranch in Montana. I stood out on his wrap around porch, leaning against the railway and staring up into blue, black expanse. Smiling softly at the comforting peace being here gave me. There was no light pollution, no giant buildings chasing each other to see who could be the tallest, and there wasn't the usual bustling of people on the streets below.

Tugging the old quilt closer around my shoulders, I sighed, closing my eyes and going over the conversation Lauren and I had in the car. The awkward one that involved love. My gut told me I should've returned her words, told her the truth, and told her I felt the same. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth fearing it was going to turn into a lie by the time this was all over. I buried my chin into the blankets, and sighed heavily. The thirty hour car ride had been filled with chunks of uncomfortable silence, awkward chatter, and nothing as I took naps and she drove a little. Lauren never fell asleep, she would stare out the window in a catatonic state. She went back to barely eating anything, and the only time I knew she was okay, was when she would grab my hand and hold it in hers. It left me feeling strange. Strange in the way that Lauren was coming to peace with whatever fate she had crafted in her head. That the end was nigh and she was making her peace with the world around her. It left me hating my stupid rule about keeping the promise of putting her life first. I would have to remedy that the second Viv gave us the all clear.

"That girl is out like a light. Snoring like a grizzly in the middle of a winters sleep." My dad's deep voice wrapped around me like a warm hug. Soon his arm fell across my shoulders, pulling me into his side. "How are you doing, Ysabeau?"

I smiled, shaking my head, he was the only person left in my life that called me by my full name. "Okay, considering the situation at hand." I looked up at him. He looked like he fell out of a vintage Marlboro ad. Pure cowboy through and through. I laid my head on his shoulder. "Thank you for taking us in, and giving Lauren the good guest bed. She hasn't slept in almost thirty six hours, living on coffee and fear to keep her awake."

He chuckled, squeezing my arm. "Not a problem." He glanced down at me, his intense brown eyes meeting mine. "So, what's the full plan? What's the next move? And how close is this scumbag?"

"The plan is to wait here. The office is a day or two away from locking up a case and getting the appropriate warrants issued. After the president and his brother are secured in DOJ custody, I take Lauren home. Keep a light eye on her, and let justice do the rest. I know Cameron will take the full brunt of everything, his doings and his brothers." I looked up at the stars again. "I forgot how beautiful it is out here. I should come visit more often, and not when I need to hide."

My dad was quiet for a moment, before he spoke softly. "You're in love again, aren't you Ysabeau? I can see that look in your eye, the way you look at the girl upstairs, and the simple fact that you've opened up your pandora's box of secrets, and shared them with her." He glanced at me before looking up at the sky. "Hopefully she's worth breaking the promise you made to me all those years ago."

I swallowed hard, swallowing down the emotions that suddenly rose to the top of my throat. I had made a promise to my dad years ago. I promised him that I would be very careful with my heart after it had been broken, take my time in finding love, and do it the right way. He saw right through it all the second he opened the door and met Lauren. "How many seconds did it take you this time?"

His big bushy moustache twitched. "About twenty. It was in the way your eyes spoke the truth when you were telling her lies." He sighed, pulling me closer. "To be perfectly fatherly, she's a good one Ysabeau. I can tell in the way she carries herself. She loves you very much, but there's a inherent sadness in her smile." My dad shrugged. "Could be that she's being hunted, or it could be she's been heartbroken. But there's a sadness."

I nodded. "That would be my fault. Lauren confessed her feelings in the car as we drove here. Told me that she loved me, but I didn't reciprocate." I paused. "I couldn't, I can't."

"The job. The stupid job always keeping your humanity two steps behind you." My dad dropped his arm from me, moving to lean against the rail. "A lesson I learned far too late, far too old to fix it." He glanced my way, his eyes showing a hint of sadness. "Don't let it, Ysabeau. That girl is special and worth every sacrifice you have in you to give. In the morning, tell her how you feel over coffee. Get it out, and live." He turned to look out the huge field that was his front yard. "Something I should have told your mother that last morning I had with her."

I grabbed my dad's hand. "She knows. She always knew." I felt my eyes fill up with tears. My mother had passed away two years into my career with the CIA. It was an aggressive illness that came out of nowhere, and took her quickly. Too fast for my dad to retire from his own career and spend time with her.

My dad tipped his head down, nodding. "I know. But don't screw up like I did, don't let the ideals of a job interfere with your human nature." He looked at me with glassy eyes. "Even if the job and the one you love are one in the same." He suddenly smiled, it was his way of changing subjects. "So, what do you need from this old man of yours?"

I laughed, sniffling. "I think I finally figured out where my awkward ways came from. You are better at the transitions than I am, but it's still awkward." I squeezed his hand and looked over my shoulder. "You still keep your office in the barn?"

He stood up straight, running a hand over his mustache. "Moved it into a root cellar in the barn, it was easier to hide all the wiring and computers if I ran it underground." He motioned for me to follow him. "Let's go. I still have all of my U.S. Marshal access codes, let's see how close that bastard is."

I shook my head, smiling at how my dad strutted like a cowboy and followed him towards the barn. I let out a slow breath, at least I had another ally on my side in case Cameron landed on our front door.

* * *

XXX

I never got to have that heart to heart with Lauren over coffee. She slept through most of the next day and woke up when I was passed out. By then, my dad had taken a serious liking to her and was showing her how to ride a horse, and how to be a cowgirl. I ignored his advice, too relieved to see Lauren coming back to life, shucking the fear to the side and becoming the woman I longed to see every day. The one who laughed, smiled, joked, and carried herself free of fear.

We only had that full day and the next before the fear landed, and landed hard.

Cameron landed on the front steps of my dad's ranch two and half days later. He was smarter than my dad and I expected, and was able to use good ole detective skills to find where I had taken Lauren. Talking to the dealer I bought the truck from and following our trail across the country. He found us, found us unprepared and struck. Struck hard with the vengeance he had been stewing in since Lauren slipped out of his grasp.

"Ms. Dennis? Did you hear the question?"

I snapped out of my haze and turned from the glass window where I had been staring at the Empire state building in the distance. I cleared my throat before answering woman sitting across from me. "No, I'm sorry SAC Bettle, I'm still very tired from surgery. Can you please repeat the question?"

SAC Bettle smiled softly, nodding as she spoke. "I asked if you could recount the events of October 25th. From the moment Cameron Carlisle entered your father's house to the end, as best as you can remember."

I watched Bettle's eyes settle on my left arm that was encased in a sling, and throbbed under her stare. I nodded. "I can tell you up to the point I was injured, the rest is hearsay of what my dad told me when I woke up in the hospital." I sighed. "Everything happened so fast, that there isn't much to tell. Cameron wasn't one to drag things out. He came there with one goal in mind, kill the witness."

SAC Bettle smiled, opening up the notebook in front of her. "We have Your father's, Retired U.S. Marshal David Dennis, testimony on file. He gave it to us while you were in surgery, but we would like to hear your statement and corroborate everything."

I blew out a puff of air, shifting painfully in the seat. "Cameron showed up that morning, knocked on the front door like he was an expected guest." I clenched my jaw as that morning started to push through the lingering painkiller haze I had been in for the last week. "Lauren, er, the witness Lauren Lewis went to answer it, thinking it was my dad coming back from the grocery store. I remained in the kitchen." Too focused on stealing her pancakes, I thought to myself. I should have answered the door, but I had let my guard down. "I. I heard her scream, and ran to the front door." I paused, closing my eyes as I continued to berate myself. "I saw Cameron Carlisle, the president's brother, grab Lauren into a headlock and bring a large knife to her neck. I reacted and charged him. Taking him to the ground and shoving Lauren away from his grasp." I kept my eyes closed as I felt the impact of Cameron and I hitting the floor. Lauren screaming as her neck had blood on it. "I was able to break Cameron's wrist and disarm him, when I did that, I made the mistake of checking on Lauren." I paused, my stomach twisting, Lauren probably didn't know I was alive. She was rushed into CIA hard protection while I was airlifted out. Never mind the four months I had to spend in hiding as I recovered and the CIA with the NSA, decided how to spin this tale.

"The immediate report from your father and the witness, Ms. Lewis, states they heard three gunshots." SAC Bettle glanced at me, her eyes soft with concern. "Ms. Lewis stated that you shielded her with your body."

I nodded, opening my eyes and fighting the tears back. "I went with my training, protect the shadow." I stared in the blue eyes of Bettle before dropping them to look at the dark wood of the table in front of me. "I was shot in the arm twice and once in the lower back. I didn't feel the pain immediately, and continued on. My adrenaline pumping so hard, I was able to get to my feet and re-engage Cameron." I cleared my throat. "I was able to get to my service weapon free from my concealed holster in my mid back, and fired four shots at Cameron." I stopped, the image of Cameron taking all four shots in the chest and dropping to his knees as he fired blindly. The second he struck the floor and I saw my dad run into the house, scoop Lauren up and run out, I let go. I fell to the floor next to Cameron, my eyes drawn to the wide open field I could see out the front door, the blue sky of a cool morning telling me it was okay now. I remember whispering the three little words I should've that morning, at her back as she ran out of view with my dad. I closed my eyes as tears poured down my cheeks. I had done what I was supposed to. Keep Lauren safe and alive, but I failed in telling her the truth about how I felt about her.

"I passed out shortly after."

SAC Bettle stared at me before scribbling in her notebook. "That's all we need Agent Dennis. The footage your father gave us from his home CCTV system, matches up to your statement." She made a few more scribbles.

"How long did it take?" I chewed on the inside of my mouth.

Bettle looked up at me, giving me a soft look before answering. "Less than five minutes." She cleared her throat. "I apologize that it's taken this long to get your statement, but we at the NSA had to step carefully around delicate matters."

I smirked, leaning back in the chair. "I can understand. I imagine arresting the President for pre-meditated murder and trying to explain away the death of his brother could take more than a minute." I turned to look back out the window. "Let alone four months."

Bettle smiled tightly. "You are in the CIA, Agent Dennis, you know how this works. Sometimes slow, sometimes quickly, and other times, well." She shrugged. "Anyway, we just needed your testimony before we could clear you."

I rolled my eyes. "You could've waited until I was more than a day out of surgery." I looked down at my arm. I had to have bullet and bone fragments removed from the tissue in my bicep, the bullet in my lower back stayed. Too risky to remove, the doctors left it. In time my body would push it to the surface and I would pop it out like a unwanted piece of jewelry. "Can I go now? I have a goldfish I need to buy."

SAC Bettle gave me a strange look as she collected all her notes. "You are free to go Agent Dennis. You've been cleared of any wrong doing and your heroism will be rewarded, but…."

"But hidden in the shadows because no one can ever know that I was a shadow for the CIA. Let alone the one who killed the president's brother." I sighed hard, moving to stand up as best as I could.

SAC Bettle stood up with me. "It's the business we are in, Agent Dennis. Secrets within secrets."

I gave her a hard look and walked slowly to the door, opening to see Viv smiling at me from the couch across the way. I issued a polite good bye to Bettle and walked towards Viv, who met me halfway and allowed me to lean on her.

"Take it easy Bo. You're not in a race." She smiled at me, guiding me to our office. I was at least happy the NSA was willing to meet at the office instead of dragging me to D.C. like they had my father. I was barely two days of my last surgery and barely a week back in New York. Having spent the last four months in hiding out at my childhood home in the hills of Tennessee with my father as we both had to wait for statements to be taken, evidence to be reviewed, and the president to be placed in handcuffs in front of the world's eyes. My father came back to New York with me, helping to take care of me as I recovered from the latest surgery. He even got me a goldfish, Alfred the tenth. I blinked a few times, trying to reign in my wandering mind.

"I'm just ready to move on." We walked to my desk, Viv helping to sit. "I want to get back to work, get back to normal." I frowned, looking over my desk for the one thing Viv promised she would get me when I was cleared by the NSA.

Viv sat on the edge of my desk. "I've never met anyone who is eager to come back to work and ride the desk. Especially a free roaming field agent like you, Bo."

"Like I was, Viv. Unfortunately, my shadow was blown apart by this situation. Too many in our own agency know who I am, what I've done, and I can never go back." I shuffled a few more papers around, growing restless. "I'm getting too old for field work. I'm more than excited to be a handler and sit in the air conditioning bothering you." I smirked at Viv as she rolled her eyes.

"And to think I got you a little gift." She bent down and pulled open the bottom drawer on my desk, revealing that it was packed to the brim with all the candy I could think of. A big bag of candy fish sitting right on the top. "I know how you get when you're hangry and your sugar drops."

I grinned, reaching for the candy and tearing it open. I didn't care that it was probably going to make me sick, I missed the good candy fish and I needed to stress eat. "You're the best, Viv. Better than all the rest." I chewed happily, the sugar already chasing away the gentle ache I felt from the painkillers ebbing away.

"I know." Viv leaned over kissing my cheek and dropping a small piece of paper in front of me. An address written in her perfect hand. "She re-opened her flower shop two weeks ago. She's finally safe. No one will ever come for her." Viv winked at me. "Well, maybe one person."

I picked up the paper with a shaky hand. "Is she…is she there now?"

Viv chuckled, standing up from the desk and walking towards the coat rack. "She is. Come on, I'll give you a lift."

I swallowed hard, my stomach twisting with nerves. "She hasn't seen me…she probably doesn't know I'm alive."

Viv gave me a look. "Bo, don't be dramatic. Your dad went to see her three days ago, after your surgery. Told her everything and that your awkward ass is pretty much indestructible." Viv walked over, offering her arm for me to steady myself on. I tucked the half eaten bag of candy fish in the crook of my elbow in the sling. "But I think it's time you find her. See her, and live in the sun like the rest of us, Ysabeau." She enunciated my name. "Ysabeau, would've never guessed that. I thought your name was just plain old Bo. Not something so fancy and elegant." She motioned to the bag of candy I was digging my good hand in.

I shrugged, shoving a handful into my mouth. "I am elegant."

"As elegant as a pig in a mud pit."

I frowned as Viv laughed. "I don't like you, even if you give me candy."

Viv laughed harder, kissing the side of my head. "There's the Bo I know and adore." She walked me towards the elevator. "But we do need to talk. Talk about how you kept your life secret from me. I'm the best intelligence analyst in this district, possibly the agency, and I never picked up on you being the daughter of a retired U.S. Marshal, and cowboy. Teach me the old tricks you used to fall completely off the grid and have me watching a stupid loop on the cameras, thinking you were just going to the bakery every other day to feed that dozen a day habit. That your birthday is in October, and that you love 80's sitcoms." She shook her head. "It's like I don't even know you."

I patted Viv's arm, grabbing another handful of candy fish. "You know me better than you think, Viv. Well, maybe my stomach. Maybe my stomach and you are best friends and I was just the third wheel you had to work with?" I scrunched my face up as I thought harder. "Can stomachs and people be friends?"

"Bo. Awkward. Stop awkwarding all over the place." Viv pushed the parking garage button. "I heard all about your goldfish pregnancy theories."

I shrugged, focusing on the candy bag. "It was a theory, yet to be proven implausible."

* * *

XXXX

I made Viv sit in the car as I walked on my own up to the flower shop. The neon sign blinking open in a random, yet perfect, pattern. Viv had told me in the car that Lauren had opened a new flower shop on the other side of town. The memories of what had happened in the alley behind her old one, was too much and she wanted to start fresh.

I smiled at the tiny handmade sign in the window, telling me I had arrived right at open.

I was painfully nervous, I was scared to see her again. Afraid that the way she felt for me, or the way I felt for her, only existed in those moments of stress we lived in. A kind of love that lives on the battlefield and dies the second peace enters your life.

"Bo, go inside before I shove you." Viv's voice startled me. I turned and glared at her as she sat in the car. She waved her hand, mouthing for me to go inside.

I wanted to flip her off, but my good flipping off hand was trapped in a sling and the other was holding the last handful of candy fish. I blew out a nervous breath, jammed that last handful in and walked into the store.

I flinched at the quiet tinkle of the bell above me, announcing that someone had come in.

"I'll be with you in one moment, please feel free to look around."

I felt my heart clench at the sound of Lauren's voice. It was different, lighter, happier. I swallowed a few more times, wishing I had more candy as I walked towards the counter. I scanned the store, looking for her like a panicked fool, when I caught a glimpse of her in the back room working on a floral arrangement.

I froze, staring at her as she worked. I couldn't see her face, just her back. Her long blonde hair fell down the middle of her shoulders, tied up in a ponytail. Her jeans had dirt smudges and clippers poking out of her back pocket.

I stared at her for what felt like an hour, until she turned around, wiping her hands on her apron, head down and walked out from the back. Calling out, "Did you have any questions?"

She slowly looked up and when her eyes met mine, her polite smile faded into an almost blank look. A look that scared the hell out of me, because I couldn't read it as a good or bad look.

I smiled tightly, lifting my good hand up and waving like a little kid. "Hey." Then the awkward idiot in me kicked in. "I uh, do you have a suggestion for a bouquet of flowers for a beautiful woman that I haven't seen in months? Like I'm sorry for getting shot and having to go into CIA protection to hide from the president, and not being there for her when I always promised I would. I mean would daisies and tulips be good? Or would I have to get roses to make up for the fact I never told you I loved you when I should have, but I couldn't because I didn't want to lie to you if I ended up getting myself killed while protecting you. I should've told you at my dad's ranch, that morning, but I…" I paused, feeling my eyes fill up with tears as Lauren just stood and stared at me, blank faced and telling me that I had screwed the pooch big time and would be heading home to cry over ice cream while I held Alfred the tenth in my lap. Both of us watching 80's sitcoms and lamenting. "But I swear to Jesus Christ on a bicycle, I love you Lauren Lewis. From the first moment I awkwardly told you I had a goldfish boyfriend, I loved you. I loved you then, I love you now, and I am here. I'm here to find you like I promised. When this was all over, I would find you no matter what and you would take me out to dinner at a buffet." I felt the tears roll down my cheek, looking right in her eyes. "I'm stupid, awkward fool, but I love you. I love you with all of my heart Lauren Lewis." I shrugged, looking down at my sling. "I'm going to go. Yeah, I should do that." I turned to walk towards the door, biting the inside of my cheek so hard I was going to make it bleed.

I took a few unsteady steps, painfully waving at Viv that I was coming back out.

"Orchids." Lauren's voice trembled and came from right behind me.

I closed my eyes as I felt her warmth wash over me. "Orchids?"

"They're my favorite flower." Lauren was directly behind me. "Turn around, Bo."

I scrunched my face up as tears fell freely, I tried my best to wipe them away as I slowly turned to face her. "Viv's waiting for me." I was now standing in front of the woman I loved unlike any other, petrified that she was about to tell me that it was all just stress induced, she didn't really feel the same and she was going to let me down easy.

"No she's not. She just drove off." Lauren sighed softly. "Look at me? Please?"

I frowned, here it comes. "It's okay, I understand. Now that everything is back to normal." I cleared my throat as my voice cracked. "But I had a promise to keep." I kept my head down, I didn't want to do this.

"Bo, look at me." Her warm hand fell to my cheek as she gently tilted my head up so I would actually look at her. When I did finally look at her, her cheeks were wet with tears, a wide grin covering her face. "Your dad told me you'd be fidgety. That I had to be easy on you, that you'd be harder than anyone else on yourself."

I wanted to cry at how different, how beautiful Lauren looked free of the terror of being hunted. She practically glowed. I opened my mouth to say something, but was silenced by her fingers pressing against my lips. "Bo, you don't have to tell me anything. I understand. All of it." She sniffled, her eyes welling up. "I love you. I love you so much and it's only grown in the time we were apart and I thought I had lost you." She scrunched her face up, her other hand resting on the other side of my face. "Promise me, that you never do that again. That you never risk your life like that." She let out a small sob. "My heart stopped and didn't start again until your dad walked in this shop, telling me that you were still the stubborn little girl he raised, refusing to give up."

I sighed, laying my good hand against her chest over her pounding heart. "I had to tell you I loved you, I had to make it so I could stand in front of you, like I am now, and tell you that." I smiled, reaching up to wipe her cheek, sighing as she leaned into my palm. "I'm not going anywhere, ever, Lauren. You have me as long as you want me." I leaned forward and kissed her softly, my body relaxing as my mind and heart shouted that we all were finally home, and this woman was our home.

Lauren kissed me back, harder as if she was chasing out the last lingering doubts she had. That the reason we were brought together was finally past us, and we could start a future. She broke the kiss, resting her forehead against mine, her hand falling to the side of my neck. "Does this mean you broke up with Alfred?"

I gave her a silly look. "Actually, Alfred the tenth just moved in a few days ago, and he looks to be a strong one." I grinned, kissing her again. "I'll talk to him when I get home, tell him it's time we see other people."

Lauren laughed, shaking her head as she pulled me into her arms, careful not to crush my bad arm. "What am I going to do with you, Ysabeau?"

I leaned into the woman, resting my head in the curve of her neck. "Love me, like I love you. Forgive me when I'm hangry? And all the rest of the things that will come in our future."

Lauren laughed again, squeezing me gently. "I will." She held me in her arms until my stomach growled angrily from only having candy fish dumped into it. Lauren leaned back giving me a dirty look. "Please don't tell me the only thing you've eaten is candy?"

I shrugged. "Ok, I won't."

Lauren sighed with a smile, kissing me again. "Where do we begin? Now that our lives are ours once again?"

I grinned, winking at Lauren. "Lunch would be a really great place to start."


	10. Chapter 10

**N: super short, i know. But i had a random idea for this and went with it. I think i might revisit this story here and there when hangry Bo strikes me. Anyways, it's a fun read. I'm still working on other things, and might be a blitz update after next weekend when i'm done with the open and a wedding. I'll be inspired to write again and not so super tired! Read on and enjoy!**

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"I had no idea there was a Chinese buffet on this block, and so close to your place." I shoved my fifth egg roll into my mouth, looking around the décor of the place. "I have to write this one down in my book of food." I mumbled with a mouth full, reaching for the plate piled high in front of me. My nerves were lessening by every minute, but I was still stress eating. Being around Lauren after so much time, it still made me feel very awkward.

"You have a book of food?" Lauren sipped from a small cup of tea, her plate filled far less obnoxiously.

I shrugged, jabbing a piece of beef broccoli. "Maybe. I have a lot of books in my apartment, I like to read. And not just cheesy time travelling romance novels." I blushed. I did really have a book of food where I wrote down all the best places I'd eaten at. Even when I was on the job, I kept notes. One never knew when they'd be back in the back woods of Kentucky and needed a slice of cherry pit. I shoved more food in my mouth, staring at the ornate plate. "Our first da…um meal together, and it's at a buffet." I sighed. "I'm the one who should be taking you out."

Lauren scooted her chair closer to me, laying a hand on my forearm. "I vaguely remember you requesting that if I were to take you out to dinner, it should be a buffet." She glanced at the empty plates I'd already stacked up. "I can see why." She smirked as I blushed a deeper shade of red.

"The hospital food was disgusting. The only thing that tasted good was the tiny cups of pudding." I went to reach for another egg roll with my injured arm, fighting through the ache to get my fingers around the fried treat. "My dad tried to bring stuff in, but he was caught every time." I grinned in victory, successfully snatching the eggroll up. "Pfft who needs physical therapy."

Lauren plucked the egg roll out of my hand. "You do." She shook her head, "You're barely three days out of surgery and already pushing it. Stubborn." She looked up at me with a loving look. "Speaking of recovery, what are the doctor's orders?"

I jammed another bite of food in. "I'm to take it easy. No physical activity for five weeks with this arm. I have to start physical therapy in three, and stitches come out in two." I frowned, realizing that I had no one to help me. My dad had to fly back home for a couple of weeks to tie up some paperwork on his end, and Viv lived on the other side of the city from me. Well, maybe Alfred could start doing some dishes in his fish bowl. "I'll have to hire a nanny."

Lauren gave me a confused look. "A nanny? I think Alfred is a big boy, he can swim unattended."

"I meant for me." I lifted up my wonky arm. "I'm right handed."

Lauren furrowed her brow, nodding slowly. "Well, I see your point. I think my landlady has a daughter who could help you out. Or maybe that burly meat delivery guy that flirts with me every Wednesday morning." She rolled her eyes when I gave her a horrified look. "Or you could ask me."

"Ask you what?" I scooped up a pile of fried rice, my brain was distracted by all the MSG I was dumping into it.

"Ask me to take care of you, Bo." She met my eyes.

"Why would I do that?" I shoved the fork in my mouth when it hit me. "Oh. Oh. OH." I half choked on the peas in the rice, and swallowed. "Um, so, I uh….could use a hand for a few weeks. Would you be interested?" I coughed lightly, reaching for a glass of water. "It would give us time to get to know each other better, and see if Alfred is willing to share me with you."

Lauren grinned, shaking her head as she wiped the side of my mouth with a napkin. "Since I'm technically a doctor, I think I'm ethically bound by law to take care of the wounded." She leaned over, brushing her lips across my cheek, whispering against my ear. "However, the no physical activity for five weeks will put a damper on a few things I had planned." She pressed a soft kiss on my cheek before sitting back, chuckling at the look on my face as my imagination ran rampant at her implications. Jesus it had been far too long since my libido had room to run free. Now it was making things very uncomfortable for me. Lauren was beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, and I suddenly remembered how soft her breasts were. I jammed a whole egg roll in my mouth, chomping on it to chomp out the sexual tension I was building like a hyper active kid in a lego pit. "Bo, you're so adorable when you're in awkward mode." She took a slow breath in. "I meant what I said in my shop, I love you. I love you, and I will take care of you like you took care of me. I owe you my life, and my heart will spend the rest of time repaying you." She grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently, her face falling ever so slightly. "When do you go back to work?"

I knew that look. I had seen it a handful of times when I was protecting her. It was Lauren silently calling defeat. Apparently, my dad and Viv hadn't told her everything. "I go back in a couple of weeks. Ed has a big job waiting for me when I go back." I watched as her face fell even further. "It's a big job, since Viv can be a stickler for details and I have to sit at a desk facing her. Imagine looking at that woman's perfect face day in and day out, and wonder where my genetics failed me?" I shook my head dramatically, "At least she brings me candy, so I think that'll make being her new partner easier."

Lauren looked up, "I thought…you're a shadow agent? You're a field agent, you travel and I was expecting, and preparing for a long distance relationship." She glanced at our hands.

I bent down to catch her eyes. "I was a field agent, I did travel, but not anymore. This injury would've taken me out of the field for months, but then I talked to Ed after my surgery. Told him that there was a florist I had my eye on, and I was tired of living lies and not for myself." I looked up at the ceiling. "Technically we are long distance since I live thirty blocks from you, but I think we'll survive." I grinned as Lauren's eyes turned glassy. "I know what I want. I want a life with you, Lauren. No more of this crazy life for me, just a normal boring one where you endure my bouts of hangry depression when it snows and I can't get pizza delivered." I lifted her hand up, kissing the top of her knuckles. "Before you say it, since I can read it in your eyes, no I didn't give up the job for you. I gave it up for us."

Lauren blew out a small laugh, wiping at her eyes as tears escaped. "You know, I never thought anyone would ever give anything up for me. It's why my ex left me, her refusal to compromise. Now, looking back I see her breaking up with me, lead me to the first lady, and that lead me to you. Perhaps it's the world testing me, and when I was done, I found the love of my life. The perfect piece missing from my heart as she stole my peanut butter doughnut in the car."

I frowned, slouching in my seat. "You're never going to let that go are you?"

Lauren laughed, reaching over to pull my chin towards her. "Nope." She leaned forward, kissing my soundly, whispering against my mouth. "I still love you anyways, Ysabeau."

I smiled like an idiot, whispering the words back as I kissed her. Chuckling as the waiter came over, asking if I wanted more fresh plates. I gave him a thumbs up, continuing to kiss Lauren over beef and broccoli.

All I knew was that I was starting a new adventure unlike any I'd ever been on before. I parted from her lips, grinning at her flushed face. "So, you want to take me home? Since my best friend and partner dropped me on your doorstep like unwanted garbage?"

Lauren rolled her eyes, reaching in her wallet to pay the bill. "Viv called me before she dropped you off. I was expecting you. Nervously expecting you, but eager to see you." She set the money on the plastic tray and handed it over to the relieved waiter. I gave him a dirty look when he gave all my empty plates one.

"Why call it a buffet if you don't want people to eat as much as possible." I grumbled as I went to stand up, wincing at the pain in my arm.

Lauren came to my side, wrapping her arm around my side. "Bo, you practically ate them out of business for lunch." She laughed at my grumblings, pulling me closer. "How about I stop for ice cream on the way back to your apartment? After I grab a few things from my place."

I grabbed her hand as she led me back out onto the city street, the sun shining bright and making my skin warm. I sighed contently. "I do love ice cream." I looked down at the woman, my face turning serious for a moment. "Lauren, you think we can do this?" I had no idea where the sudden rush of doubt came from. Maybe it was the start of the meat sweats, maybe the MSG was fighting back, or maybe deep down I was scared that our love was born in the heat of the moment.

She cocked her head, those big amber eyes meeting mine as she grinned brightly. "From the moment I first met you in that room, I knew. I knew that with you by my side, I could do anything. We could do anything, Bo." She placed a warm hand on the side of my face. "So, yes, I do think we can do this. Everyone can. Viv has already claimed dibs on giving the first toast at our eventual wedding."

I chuckled, leaning into her hand. "Of course, she did." I let out a slow breath. "But let's not talk about weddings right now. I still haven't told Alfred about us, and I fear he might go belly up if I mentioned impending nuptials." I scrunched my face up. "But now I want cake. Can we get cake?"

Lauren laughed, shaking her head as she guided me back towards her shop. "Anything you want, it's yours, Bo."

I grinned, making a mental note to save this moment and remind Lauren at a later date. When I could physical ask for something I really wanted, and follow through on it. "Perfect."

Today had started out with angsty unknowns, and made me skip breakfast for how nervous I was. Now, I had nothing but the unknown to look forward to with this woman next to me. And that made me excited, and hungry.


	11. Chapter 11

**N: this just came to me, basically the idea with the pens in the cast and i went with it. I've decided this story might just be random snapshots in their life together after the firestorm that brought them together. It's my way to keep writing and find inspiration on this mini hiatus from writing. I need to find the motivation again! Enjoy!**

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"Sonofabitch." I huffed as I slipped and let the end of the pen go, letting it slide down to the middle of my cast where the other fifty pens and pencils were. I lifted my arm up in an attempt to shake any of them free, but cringed when the pain struck. I dropped my arm back on the pillow and groaned. My arm itched like crazy, hence why I had the pens and pencils trapped in there. I thought it was an innovative idea to use them as scratching sticks instead of listening to my doctor to leave the itch alone. "Itching means its healing." What a crock. The itching was driving me crazy and I could barely pay attention to my bowl of cereal in front of me. I'd woken up from my third nap of the day with a growling tummy and an itchy arm. Now, I was sitting on the couch an hour later with empty cereal boxes and stray pen caps on the coffee table.

I was sick of being sick. I wanted to go back to work, I wanted to go play basketball with the kids next door, I wanted out. But noooooo. I had to take it easy. Rest, heal and eat healthy to aid the healing process. The doctor wasn't happy I had the diet of a spastic college boy. Nothing but crap food, soda and candy. I half listened to him, I was day dreaming about the cronut I was going to get on the way home from this appointment. I didn't do diets, I didn't need to do diets. I had that magical metabolism from both of my parents and when I was sick, all I wanted to eat was the comfort foods that made me forget I was a lame duck CIA agent.

I slid off the couch, the pile of candy bar wrappers on my lap fell to the ground as I walked over to the kitchen with the now soggy cereal to dump it and make a fresh bowl. I sighed looking out the window, watching the kids playing basketball. I leaned forward, opening the window to let some air in. "I want to go outside." I looked at Alfred happily swimming in his giant fish tank filled with goldfish friendly plants. He stared at me for a second, blew a bubble and zipped away into his little fish castle. I rolled my eyes, "Thanks for the support, Alfred."

I bent down to dig in the bottom cabinets under the sink where I kept my stash, and pulled out a family sized box of peanut butter chocolate puffs. I grinned as I opened it, relishing the smell of pure sugar and fake peanut butter. I couldn't resist and jammed my hand into the box for a healthy handful, jamming that into my mouth. I sighed contently as the sugar and fake delicious chemicals swam over my taste buds. I went in for another handful when I heard.

"I knew I missed a box." Lauren's voice carried to my ears, and stopped my heart. I flicked my eyes open to look at the blonde. She set down the grocery bags. "Bo, you know you're on a diet to prevent the antibiotics your on from reacting poorly in your system."

I shrugged, "I woke up from my nap starving." I tried to smile at her as she slowly took away the box of cereal from my tight grip. "Hi." I tried to flash my prize winning grin to soften the lecture I was about to get.

Lauren shook her head, tossing the box into the trash. "I made you a breakfast quiche this morning and left it in the fridge for you. There's even left over sandwiches from yesterday." She opened the fridge and pointed at the perfectly stacked and organized containers.

I shrugged again. "I didn't know when you'd be back over." I suddenly remembered all of the candy wrappers on the floor in front of the TV, along with the mess I'd made over the last couple of days Lauren had been out of town. "Um, I think my phone is ringing." I rushed over to the couch, bending over to collect as many as I could, well I was basically trying to shove them under the couch before Lauren came over. "How was your trip?"

"It was good. I was able to connect with an organic farmer willing to try some of my cross-pollination ideas." I could hear the smile in Lauren's voice. She was excited about her next project and had found an organic farmer upstate, and was eager to meet him and get back to the science she loved. But she was hesitant to leave me in my hobbled state, but after having her over everyday for the last two weeks and getting adjusted to my semi-disgusting habits, I told her to go. I knew she needed a break from playing my nurse. Lauren loved me, but I was a pain in the ass patient and getting worse the more idle I became. Plus, I wanted to set up the surprise I had in store for her, but first I had to hide my junk food garbage before I ruined the mood.

"That's cool." I bent further down, trying to grab a stubborn snickers wrapper when I slipped and fell to the floor and landed on my side. I groaned as I caught the edge of my bad elbow. "GODDAMNSONOFABITCHSTICKS."

Lauren rushed to my side, lifting me up to sit next to her. I leaned into her side, I'd missed Lauren and it had only been three days. She wiped away the tears from the pain that snuck their way out as I held my arm. "Bo, you have to take it easy. You're healing."

I nodded against her shoulder, inhaling the ever present smell of flowers on her shirt. "I know. But I'm bored. I want to go play with the other kids."

Lauren chuckled, wrapping another arm around me. "I know you're bored, and the kids miss you. I had to tell Jerome you couldn't come out on Friday. Your pain meds had you knocked out and drooling on the couch. He told me to tell you to get better soon, they need you on the team to kick Kenny's ass."

I smiled a little, looking up at Lauren who had a scrunched brow as she slowly surveyed the disaster in front of her. "Kenny's a dick. A 12 year old dick who hogs the ball." I sighed as she picked up a corner of a snickers bar wrapper. I went to reach for it. "Viv left that here."

Lauren gave me a look. "No Viv didn't." She smiled as I pouted, she kissed me softly before moving to stand up. "Tim went to hand me your next load of snickers bars you ordered when I went grocery shopping. He told me everything that you've been up to while I've been gone." She collected a few more errant wrappers and half eaten bags of chips. "Bo, what am I going to do with you?"

I leaned back in the couch, setting my tingling arm on a pillow. "Do I have to answer that question? Because all I can think of is how to con you into taking off my cast early. Dr. Lewis."

Lauren raised an eyebrow, her hands full of my trash. "I'm technically not a medical doctor."

I grinned. "Technically you are. You had a full four years plus three years of residency at St. John's." I chuckled when I saw her cheeks turn a bright red. "I might be a lame duck, but I'm still an intelligence agent."

Lauren stuck her tongue at me, then looked down at all the random pen caps and broken pencils on the table. "Bo, why are there pen caps and broken pencils everywhere?"

I went to make up an excuse, but then I came up with a shady plan. I lifted my arm up and shook it so Lauren could hear the pencils and pens rattling in my cast. "It got itchy."

Lauren closed her eyes, sighing. When she opened them, she held out her hand to me. "Come to the bathroom with me. I'll have to cut your cast off and re-do it before you start stinking up your entire apartment with sweaty rotten pencils."

I shouted internally as I took her warm hand. It had only been a couple weeks, but I was hopelessly in love with Lauren. I craved to touch her, but every time we started something on the couch, my dumb arm would protest and Lauren would stop us. The last time we were intimate, I had her shirt half off when I twisted the wrong way and squeaked out a tiny cry of pain. Lauren flipped the lights on to check on me, giving me a glimpse of her perfect breasts before covering them up. It was then that I begged her to just cut my stupid arm off. It was the worst night of my life, sitting there with Lauren, a bag of ice on my shoulder watching a movie when all I could think about was seeing her boobs.

Lauren directed me to sit on the toilet as she dug out a huge pair of scissors from the medical kit I kept in the bathroom. She gently placed my arm on a towel on the edge of the sink and began cutting through the thin plaster. "I have to go to my apartment after I reset your cast. I need to check the mail and check on April at the flower shop."

I smiled, my heart pounding as my palms began to sweat. "Um, didn't you say April was looking for a place closer to the flower shop?" April was the botany graduate Lauren hired to work at the flower shop so she could spend more time with me, taking care of me. What excited me was Lauren was talking about working less and less at the flower shop and started moving most of her lab equipment and books to my apartment. That's what brought on the surprised I had planned for Lauren. After conning Viv into bringing me pizza and Chinese food the first night Lauren had gone upstate, I mentioned, around a mouthful of pizza and eggrolls, that I was half tempted to ask Lauren to move in with me. I loved having her here. She had kept Alfred the tenth alive for more than a week, and I knew when I went back to the office, I'd want Lauren to come home to. Viv's answer was basically what was I waiting for? And so she helped me get an extra key made, helped add Lauren to my security system login and we even cleaned the shit out of my bedroom. Her boyfriend moved in a new dresser and mattress for Lauren to have a place for her clothes, and well I had an excuse to go buy the fancy new bed I'd been wanting for the last two years.

Lauren nodded, her face serious as she focused on cutting the cast. "She is. I've been helping her, but everything around the shop is pretty much rented for the next three years."

I nodded, swallowing down my nerves. "That's cool. Um, what about your place?"

Lauren glanced at me, "It's rent controlled, and I signed a five year lease along with the shop."

I smiled, biting my bottom lip as I stared at the blonde. Shit, I needed a doughnut to gnaw on. "So, um, you know I love having you over here. Taking care of me and putting up with my annoying ways." I paused, swallowing hard. I began looking for something, anything to squeeze before I lost my nerve.

Lauren smiled, "It's been my pleasure, Bo. I've loved getting to know you. I love that you read five books at once, fall asleep with the TV on at lease four times a day. And I especially adore the fact that you have a group of neighborhood kids as your friends. Jerome and the rest love you."

I smirked. "They love my free throws. And that I'm at least a foot taller than the rest." I had made friends with the kids in the neighborhood and loved them more than my adult friends. I did it on a whim when I had a shadow case where I had to pretend to be a teacher's assistant and watch over the wife of a Naval officer who had been selling nuke codes. But at the end, the best part of the whole case was making friends with Jerome. "They're all good kids."

"They are." Lauren winked at me. "They tell on you though. All of them ratted on you for sneaking out on Saturday for a milkshake."

I felt my jaw drop. "Those rats! I gave Alecia and Danny five bucks to keep it on the downlow."

"And I gave them all twenty bucks to keep an eye on you." Lauren chuckled, leaning over to kiss my cheek. "It's okay. They all love you and want you to get better, Bo."

I grumbled. "Whatever."

She leaned back, reaching for a pair of pliers. "And I love you and know how much cabin fever is driving you nuts. But I almost lost you once, Bo, I want to do everything I can to never let that happen again." Her smile turned serious. "I missed you a lot while I was gone."

I stared at her for a moment before my heart jumped up into the bottom of my throat and shoved the words out. "Turn your lease over to April and move in with me Lauren."

Lauren's head shot up just as she pried the cast apart, the pens and pencils I lodged in there, tumbled to the bathroom floor. Clattering like weird applause. "What?"

I sighed happily at the feeling of cool cool air flowing over my itchy arm, I instinctively reached over to start scratching it. "Move in with me. Live with me. Share my home and my life, Lauren. Alfred loves you, and the fish tank you made him. He's okay with you moving in with us." I had two fingers on my skin, when Lauren snatched my hand away and held it. I frowned at the look in her eyes, it wasn't the joyous one I expected, or imagined. "Or maybe we can wait a few more weeks."

Lauren blew out a nervous laugh, leaning over to kiss me solidly on the lips. I leaned into the kiss, my body firing up, I wanted to do more and it was so going to happen in this bathroom. I grabbed the edge of her shirt, sliding my hand underneath and moaning at how soft her skin was, when Lauren broke off the kiss and moved out of my touch. "Yes."

I licked my lips, and looked into her watery brown eyes. "Yes, to waiting a few more weeks?"

Lauren laughed, running a hand over my hair. "No. Yes to moving in with you." She held my eyes. "Logically we should wait since our relationship is so new, but I don't care. Nothing about us is logical in the true sense of the word. How we met, and everything else. I'm a florist in love with a CIA agent." She grinned, "I love you, Bo."

I grinned like an idiot, "I love you, Lauren." I kissed her hard, and pulled her to sit on my lap. I ran my hand up under her shirt as she ran her hands through my hair. I had to have her. I needed her and went to grab her with my uncasted bad arm, not thinking, and when I moved and went to lift her up, a shooting pain washed over my entire body and I broke away from Lauren's soft lips. "FUCKINGBALLS." I drew my arm into my chest, squeezing my eyes shut as the lightning bolts of pain went through my entire body.

Lauren hopped off my lap and gently took my arm, resting it back on the sink as I doubled over in pain, wanting to barf all over the floor. She came back a moment later with a huge bowl full of water and bandages. "Bo, I'm sorry. I should've been careful. I didn't need to start something." She dropped a small pill in my hand and gave me a glass of water. "Take this, it's a mild herbal pain killer. It'll take the edge off without making you dopey." She sighed heavily, a sigh she was frustrated with herself, and began dipping the bandages in the water and laying it over my throbbing arm. The warm water eased some of the pain and horrific itch. I wanted to kill the tension in the room. Lauren was feeling guilty for my pain, when it wasn't her fault. If there was anyone to blame, it was that asshole ex-president sitting behind bars. I scooted forward on the toilet and looked at Lauren with teary eyes. "I'm never going to see you naked, am I?" I sighed dramatically to add a little more humor to my comment.

Lauren's worried face shifted slightly, and she smiled. "You will. Be patient and when you're healed you can have me naked as much as you want." She leaned over, wiping a tear away as she kissed me softly. "But for now, you'll have to settle for gentle cuddling."

I frowned. "Can I at least have ice cream?"

Lauren grinned, nodding her head. "You can have whatever you want, Bo. But only today. Tomorrow it's back to salads, veggies and lean meats."

I sighed, "And to think I bought a new mattress for you." I smiled at the blonde working on my cast, "Can the ice cream be a triple fudge from Antonio's down the street? He puts cronuts on the top."

Lauren shook her head, glancing at me. "If I didn't love you so much…"

I grinned, "But you do." I closed my eyes, at least I could pig out for one more day before my girlfriend cut me off. I opened one eye, "Hey, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." I closed my eye and let the warmth of the water and Lauren's touch relax me. I knew what I was saying, and I meant it. I knew I would spend the rest of my life with Lauren, it was just a matter of time and if she could put up with my even crabbier ways when I went back to work.


End file.
